*有些许暴力要素
树璃学姐，您要来听我的演奏会吗？电话对面的薰幹这样问。穿着一身宽松的睡袍的树璃把听筒调整了一下位置，这下子，电话线当中打扰人的滋滋声就消弭于无形。她顺手把信纸拖到了电话旁边，用没有拿话筒的手提笔唰唰记下幹所说的事情。
“对不起，能再说一次吗？刚才信号不好。”
“树璃学姐，您有时间来听我的演奏会吗？就在下个星期天。”幹重复了一遍。
“可以。”那天确实没什么事，树璃想着。这时候，她下意识把玩着胸口的那个链坠，那条链子在她的脖子上留下一条狭长的痕迹。
“谢谢您。其实我已经把票寄给您了。”
“不用谢。”
一通无趣的电话就这样结束了。树璃再一次审视自己写下的东西，这时候正好有人送上她的私人信件，送信人正是薰幹。他已经是远近闻名的学者与钢琴家。从里面抽出了两张票，剩下的是一张薄薄的演出海报。幹坐在钢琴边上，灯光打得很好，在他背后拖出一条秀丽的带些深蓝的影子，甚至延伸到了海报的一角。一顶小小的王冠摆在琴凳的另一边。上面写着一些必要的资讯。演奏者：薰幹；场馆：凤学园；特别赞助商：凤晓生。 树璃看到这个名字的时候愣了一下，原来他已经成为了这所学校的主人了吗？真亏得最后能走到一起呢。脑子里出现了理事长的未婚妻（现在应该是妻子了）的样子，实在难以想象出这两人琴瑟和鸣的形象。特别是那个凤晓生。
虽说心中带有些许莫名的情感，但树璃并不打算缺席这场睽违十年的同学会。她翻出已经旧了的电话簿，致电冬芽和西园寺，两人都因为不可拖延的事态而去不了。那么七实呢？冬芽在电话对面耸了耸肩膀。
她大概不会想来吧。
是吗？
冬芽暧昧地笑了一声。不好意思，我在忙，之后再打给你。树璃不觉得自己会再接到他的电话。听说他现在做得很好，于是没人在意他的手段，这样的人不会来参加私人性质的学园演奏会也是很正常的，虽然有一半原因应该是他确实忙碌。西园寺也没时间，那天正是他的决赛日子。这看似在友情上的艰难二择，树璃却立马作出了决定。西园寺在电话的另一端哼了一声。但两人确实没什么私交。
会来的人寥寥无几。幹在那之后又打了一次电话来，说是“这一届的学弟学妹们会来听，还有些那时认识的人”，他可不是有闲到会一个个通知击剑部的后辈的人。
树璃提前订了花。打电话到花店的时候，随口说了对方是自己的后辈，是要给他送演奏会的祝福的花的。哎呀，既然是亲近的后辈，那么就送金银花吧？花语可是“友爱”呢。
那就这个吧。
多谢您光顾——！
到了日子，树璃打了辆出租车到了凤学园门口。依然是锃亮到让人挑不出一丝错处的大门，她看见门口排着的一排献花，几乎都是以深深浅浅的蓝色为基础的颜色，只有排在中间一个的是奇怪的设计。树璃不知道这能说得上是充满艺术性吗？一段枯木横在木架之间，黄白相间花朵缠绕着那根枯木，简直就像十字架上的耶稣的尸体。好事的店家似乎还付了一张纸片，上面签着她有栖川树璃的大名。
“树璃学姐。”
她看着的时候，突然发现自己身边无声无息地站了个人。幹长得高了些，却没越过树璃去。他微微仰头看人的时候想必还是充满魅力的。
“呀。”
“这是学姐送的花吗？说不定是我今天最喜欢的。”他说。 “别说这种客套话。怎么看都不算美。”
“但是很特别。——说起来，金银花的花语有‘兄弟姐妹的羁绊’，这该不会是树璃学姐在挖苦我吧？”
“没有。如果你这么在意，早知道就应该送点蓝玫瑰之类的。”
“学姐这是在挖苦我了。”
一旦见面，那种十年间不见的距离突然就被弥补了些。幹仍然是不错的后辈，树璃也并不是什么很差的前辈。两人便并肩往学校里面走。看着他们的背影，草坪上和路上传来声音大到能传入耳朵的窃窃私语。
“看，那是有栖川树璃学姐…听说是我们学校的OB呢。”
“还有薰学长！真好啊……”
“被后辈崇拜的感觉如何？”
“学姐才是，应该早就习惯了吧？”
树璃看了一眼学弟妹们。学妹们仍然穿着中等部和高等部时共同的校服裙，泡泡袖、短裙和胸前的红色领巾打成漂亮的结。她随口说着“真不敢相信已经十年了”的客套话，余光看到幹的右手在发光。
“……你还戴着这个吗？”
“是什么？”
“………”
“啊，是这个。真的很惭愧……”幹举起双手，“因为第三年的时候稍微长大了些，原本的尺寸就不合了，要取下来的话非得锯下来不可。最后理事长允许我继续戴着。现在也是。”
他拨弄着泛着银光的指环，斜斜地看，蔷薇的戒面仿佛要落下一滴露珠来：“现在不过是个装饰品罢了。”
晓生在中庭站着，温室附近早就被他改造成露天的场馆。过了十年，他看起来仍然像是二十岁一样，感知不到时间在他身上的流逝。他刚才还没有抱着那束花，但现在有了。
“欢迎你们，有栖川君，薰君。能请动现在的你们，我真的挺幸运的呢。”
“哪里哪里。”幹说。
“说起来，昨天我们这边有人送过来一束花，写明了是给你的，我想应该先送给你，祝你演出成功。”晓生把怀里的花束递给幹。里面是开得绚烂的牵牛花。蓝色和紫色交缠，看起来就像普通的庆祝花束。
“对了，说起来……那是你妹妹送过来的呢。和你一个姓，叫薰……梢，是吧？你们兄妹的名字真的很有趣味呢。”
“——是……这样吗……”
幹的脸上讶异大过惊喜。树璃看到花束当中藏着一张卡片，上面用蓝色的笔写着几个小字：绝不原谅你。清秀的像是女孩子的小字。没有落款。右下角插着一个小小的，蓝色的圆形的东西。
“我替你拿着吧。”树璃打算接过那捧花。幹摇摇头，“没关系，我等一下放去车里。” “我跟着你去吧。这么大一捧花，很难放的。”
“那么就恭敬不如从命了。”
两人的背影离去之后，晓生笑了起来。
幹就连开的车也是和他的头发一样的蓝色。他把花束放到后座，迫不及待地伸手去拿那张纸片，但他突然“啊”了一声，树璃不由得看过来。
“怎么了？”
“不……只是有点划到了。”
幹看了看自己泛着一道白的指腹，确定挤了没有出血。急忙端详着那张纸。绝不原谅你，只是那么几个小字，却让他陷入了沉默当中。“这是什么？”树璃问。
“耳钉。”
少女站在镜子前面，用订书机一样的东西往耳朵上面一扎，镜子当中与极为自己相似的脸就扭曲了起来。但也只有一瞬间，幹看见她的脸微微朝着这边看过来，他不由得冲上前，要阻止她的行为，但是伸出手的时候，却只在她瓷白的脸颊上轻轻划过。
“你在干什么！”
“打耳洞。看不出来吗？”
“知道是知道，但是为什么——”
“……”她的一边耳朵血流如注，顺着耳垂滴下来，啪嗒一声滴在肩膀上，但她毫不在意一般盯着镜子里两人的脸孔，“我不想告诉小幹。”
就像她离开家的那一天。她拖着蓝色的行李箱，轮子在地砖上喀啦喀啦地移动，有一只蝴蝶停在她的行李箱上。
“为什么要走啊，梢！”
“我不想告诉小幹。”她仍旧那么说，“有时我会打电话回来的。”
“你要和那些男人同居吗！爸爸和妈妈会担心的！”
“……”
梢没有回答，她穿着蓝色的洋装，就这样从大门走了出去。路过了钢琴，路过了搅拌机，无视了幹，就这样离开了家。她离开的时候，背后跟着一条氤氲着，模糊着的影子。幹追上去，但她就这样不见了。
“这是你妹妹的东西。”树璃说。
“为什么树璃学姐会知道？”
“……我曾经和她见过一面，所以还记得。”树璃毫不费力地想起自己与薰梢的见面情景。她是得知了那位打算对薰幹下手的老师从楼梯上摔下来，必须要静养一百天之后，又收到警告电话的时候查到的。用点手段就知道是从哪个公用电话打出来的。附近的商家说“看到了一个挺漂亮的蓝发女孩子进去打了一会儿”，于是她的身份昭然若揭。那个黄昏，树璃去问了那件事，梢的话她听得很清楚。
“敢玷污小幹的家伙我都不会放过。”
她的蓝色耳钉闪闪发光，树璃问她：“那怎么样才算得上玷污”，她没有回答。
“树璃学姐居然记得呢。”
“她是个让人很难忘记的人。”树璃说，“她为什么没有来？”
“不知道。”幹少见地沉默了，“大概已经厌恶了我吧，又或是我惹怒了她。”
“因为你很迟钝。”树璃笑了笑。
“梢也这么说。”幹无奈地看着她的笑容，感觉到其中的揶揄之意。
幹定的压轴曲是那首《流光倾泻的庭园》，这是他一直以来的规矩。他的钢琴的表现力不是盖的，学生们即使听得云里雾里，都有一大部分低下头默默用手帕捂着自己的眼睛。
“之前就想问了，戴着戒指不会不方便弹琴吗？”
“已经习惯了。毕竟从学生时代就一直是这样。”
“原来如此。”
“啊。电话。对不起。”
翻出正在响着的按键手机，幹看见“非通知”的来电显示愣了一下，将音响贴在耳边。大约两分钟时间里，他只是听着，与树璃在校园里漫步。树璃沉默着。
他挂了电话。突然问出一句：“树璃学姐，我今晚能在你家睡吗？”
“当然，我家有空房间。”
“不好意思，因为母亲突然打电话回来，说要用家里的场地举办婚礼。这已经是第三次再婚了，就算是我也不知道怎么管第四个人叫父亲，还是不要打扰他们比较好。”
“所以暂时打扰学姐比较好？”
“说不定真是这样呢。”
A子：听我说啊！昨天我买了一条新项链来着——
B子：诶！让我看看让我看看！
A子：结果他晚上的时候一下子把项链扯断了啦！
B子：诶？这是不是不太好啊？
A子：就是啊，这种东西不能说是项链勒出来的痕迹呢，结果今天还是捂着的。
B子：让我看看……咦——呃，那不是掐出来的黑手印嘛！这是家庭暴力啊家庭暴力！
A子：至少说这是爱的证明嘛！
【A子愣了一下。突然用力掐住了自己的脖子。】
B子：果然是自我满足嘛。已经够了吧别再撑了，实际上痛得不得了吧。别撑了，就让你——
【A子倒下。B子摸了摸她。】
B子：已经有尸斑了，噁——我至今为止到底在和什么东西说话啊！
幹是开车来的，既是借了房间睡，自然也负责把树璃送回去。他根据树璃的指示，顺利地开上高架桥。远处的灯光闪烁着。幹的车上不播音乐，还是旧式的磁带款，里面空无一物。
“这是我用第一次开演奏会的收益买的。”幹说，“开了好几年了。”
“是吗。”
“说起来，学姐，您在毕业之后与击剑部的后辈们有联系吗？”
“几乎没有。”
“我也是这么听说的。”
“真稀奇，我以为你专注于学生会呢。”
“树璃学姐毕业之后，我也不得不把击剑部一起扛下了。那时候才发觉有学姐领导自己该有多轻松呢。”
“你已经过了该事事依赖学姐的年纪了吧。”
“至少开车不能依赖学姐呢。”
树璃沉默。幹自顾自说起自己的话，也许是生活中缺少这么一个嘴严的对象，又或者树璃其实真的能给他些什么建议。
“学姐觉得怎么样？……那首‘流光倾泻的庭园’。”
“你问怎么样…挺好的。会让人回忆起旧日时光。”
幹换了个挡。
“我总是觉得，那庭园是已经不可能再找回来了吧。但是母亲为了结婚找人把庭园重新修缮过了。把杂草剪掉、把钢琴擦干净，调了音。家具也都俱换了新的。真是丢脸啊，我那时候竟然觉得那一切都回来了。”
“那，没有回来的东西，果然是你妹妹吗？”
“是……也不是。”幹把自己的心情真诚相告，“我明白梢已经消失在这个家里，以及父母也有一定程度离开了这里。但这个家像是她还在的时候一样，所以产生了一种幻觉。”
“她消失了？”
“对不起，我忘了对树璃学姐说。梢离家出走了。”
“是吗？真不像她的作风。”
“大约五年前，梢突然说自己要和别人同居，于是搬了出去。虽然我去找了，但她就像是消失了一样，无论怎么找也找不到。只是有时候打电话过来。但我打过去的时候，那边就成了空号。”
“……”
“啊！”幹突然刹住了车，“我忘了！”
“什么？”
“其实，我知道关于之前在击剑部的高槻同学的事情，她似乎也失踪了。”树璃的喉咙突然地被扼住一样，难以呼吸起来。她不由得转向外面，看着夕阳逐渐下沉，“似乎是与梢在同一个时期，所以我也听到了一点风声。去的时候，她家已经完全空了，只有学校的制服整整齐齐地叠在木架子的床上。真的很过分啊，家里几乎都空掉了，就连床垫也没有了。”
“……是小偷光顾吗？”
“看起来像是。”
“那真的是……”
她果真至今为止都毫无罪恶感地过去了？还是说就这样和树璃互相谅解了？这一切随着她的消失，在树璃心中也变为谜团。
树璃毕业的那一天，她自己一个人离开学园。理所当然被学弟学妹们围着，但并没包括她。原本树璃应该为此觉得失落，但意外的是，这样类似的情感并没有发生。她因为一种不知名的感觉，松了一口气。甚至有些控制不住自己的伤感地想到：既然现在已经轻松了不少，那还是不要和她说再见了，免得又生出多余的情感。
那是因为她很麻烦吗？并不。树璃只是觉得，如果自己再一次行差踏错的话，也许自己和她都会就这样被毁灭吧。在这两年多当中她的亲近是肉眼可见的，树璃也愿意在能力范围内，再一次被她缠绕。
当树璃离开学校的时候，没有人来给她送行。她自己一个人走在车道上，因为司机被堵在高架桥上。车行道没有任何车开过。树璃只是沿着白线一直向前走。停——止的白色字、白色虚线、路灯。她一个人走的时候十分平静。直到看见远处模糊的人影。树璃的直觉告诉她，那是自己认识的人。
“枝织……？”
她不知什么时候已经站在树璃面前，用极为甜腻的声音问：“要走了吗？”
“是。你也快点回去吧。”
“是吗？果然树璃さん最后也会做出选择啊……”
她喃喃自语着。
“那么我要依靠谁才好呢？”
她就这样，踮起脚尖，给了树璃一个拥抱。树璃只觉得她身上的气味十分熟悉，纤细的手臂向上搂住自己的脖子，她就像索吻一样闭上眼睛。
树璃听见自己的心脏的速度越来越快，很快控制不住自己一般，她僵住了身体。但期待中的吻并没有到来，到来的是脖子被绞住的疼痛。
她体内的空气越发稀薄。那瘦弱而洁白的手绞住的是树璃新买的链坠，那里面还没有摆上任何一个人的照片，只是压进了一瓣粉色的玫瑰花。在旋转的时候，金链化为凶器在树璃的脖颈上越缠越深，树璃握着她的肩膀的手越发用力，但她并不停下。从不停下。
会死在她手上吗？
树璃说不定已经预想过了。自己并不觉得不幸，但是总觉得非要杀了自己的枝织，只剩下这种手段的枝织，真的是——
“大小姐！”
远处有一辆黑色的车停了下来，司机从里面开门跑来看。树璃的思绪一时中断，不由得大口呼吸起来。枝织转过身向着学校跑去。树璃摸自己的喉咙，看着她的背影，摸了一手的血。她不由得想去叫住枝织，告诉她自己不怪她，但终究无果。
那次留下的伤痕，到现在来看几乎看不见了。
——你还觉得她可怜吗？如果当时这样问树璃，她说不定还是会点头。但是现在她不会了。因为她不明白那其中的真意。枝织是被树璃逼得除了杀了她之外没有路走了吗？这一点在她消失的时候就被否定了。如果枝织只是这样仇恨着到了想杀掉树璃的程度，树璃并不会像现在这样痛心吧。但与之相比，她显然捉到了树璃的软肋。——失去她是树璃最难接受的事情。
那么，为什么那时候她要扼住树璃的脖子呢？无论这答案是什么，树璃都知道。如果找不到她的话，就永远是她赢了。
幹把车停在门口，进门之后全靠树璃，找了个客房住进去。树璃说他今天辛苦了，回去梳洗睡觉也就算了。幹把那束花搬到桌子上，总觉得这些东西很难放。
“晚安，树璃学姐。”
“嗯，晚安。”
幹上楼去，他用了自己房间的浴室。树璃还要处理今天留下的工作，于是暂时留在楼下。叮铃铃。一直用的拨号式电话响了起来。
叮铃铃。叮铃铃。叮铃铃。叮铃铃。
树璃站在电话前，接了起来。
少女坐在窗台上。她穿着睡裙，已经很久没穿过同款的睡衣了，从她胸前望进去是深深的黑暗。
喂喂，小幹？是我。嗯，是我。可别说你不记得我是谁。嗯。现在我在十八层的公寓住着，是男朋友的房子。没办法啦，毕竟我没有房子。钱倒是有。他很大方喔，给我买了钢琴，虽然我说我不会弹，但他也不会欣赏嘛。（少女的嘲讽笑声）……那么，我挂了。
树璃挂了电话之后，把写着简略的对话的纸张拎了起来，轻轻地敲了敲客房的门。不知道她的来意的幹还以为发生了什么事，擦着头发把她迎进来了。
“不好意思。”树璃说，“我刚才大概是接到你妹妹的电话，给你的。说了这些东西。”
“原来如此。”在看了那潦草的记载之后，幹叹了口气，“又换了。”
“又换了？”
“上一次是女演员。”
“不去找她吗？”
“我……找过。但是，也有些理由，我知道是找不到她的。虽然可能有些离奇，但我想，现在能理解的只有树璃学姐了。毕竟我们曾经一起接触过那份奇迹之力，知道世界上拥有我们无法理解其来源的事物。”
“不如说略过了它。”树璃将手放在纸上，“你说。”
少女——薰梢打来的第一个电话，是在离家的三个月后。那份经历实在是太过古怪，他至今没有对任何人说过。那是一个夜晚，他家的电话突然响了起来，他跑去接。
“喂，小幹？”电话那一头有些冷淡的声音让人觉得很亲切。至少对于幹而言，在这三个月里，无论打去几次，梢都没有只言片语，这对于作为双胞胎哥哥的幹而言是一种微妙的打击，“我有一件事想对你说。”
她的声音里带着一些圆滑的，幹捕捉不到的事物。也许是因为电话的问题，她那儿的声音听起来模糊了一些，但足以让人明白她是谁。
“梢！你怎么不接我电——”
“我，很快就不会是‘薰’了。明白吗？我大概很快就要套上别人的姓氏了，不是明天，就是后天。是山田还是福本都无所谓。”
她顿了一下。
“现在我的同居男友，应该也会很快变成我的丈夫吧。说实在的，是谁都无所谓。我只是不想做‘薰’了。”
“你在说什么啊，梢！我们——”
“我们没能成为什么闪耀的事物。啊，不对，我没能成为什么闪耀的事物，对不起呢。”她意有揶揄地说，“大概之后也会随波逐流，失去生活中所有闪耀的地方吧，就算有一架钢琴，我自己也不会调音，也不会再弹了。所以小幹也不要来找我了，真的、一定、绝对会失望的。”
“我是——滋滋——我怎么会选了像你这样的婊子……你骗了我！看看这些照片，原来你在别的男人那里叫得那么欢啊！”
男人的声音突然插了进来。梢的声音被截断了。“是你毁了我！我已经昭告天下要和一个婊子一起生活——”
闷响。
“你是什么好东西吗？年轻时候不也玩了一大堆女人嘛！”她扔下电话，“我不选你也是可以的，你只不过是最难堪最鄙薄最没毅力的男人的其中一个！”
“你还——真能说啊——贱女人！”
“呃、嗬嗬——呃——！”
砰咚。乓。哐哐哐。
“掐死你——看你还能说我什么——”
“嗬嗬、呃呃、啊——”
咚。
不是吧怎么就死了可恶我到底做了什么啊现在当务之急是把这个婊子处理掉对处理掉刀在哪里太钝了说起来家里还有锯子总之一点点分掉吧都是你的错啊要不是你骗了我我才不会这样呢我看你这样还以为你是什么好东西呢原来也不过是婊子一个嘛我这是替天行道说到底这种十几岁就出来吃男人的喝男人的能有什么好东西好难锯这地方是腿骨吧好有点经验了把右腿也锯掉左手臂右手臂脑袋脑袋挺难的啊总之割下来找个什么人不会发现的地方埋了吧剩下的慢慢切了处理嘎吱嘎吱噗血凝固了头要怎么带出去太明显了干脆有什么东西啊说起来她不是有个行李箱吗唰拉嘭咚好了我去洗个澡。
喀啦喀啦喀啦。男人拉着行李箱远去的声音。简直就像是梢离开家的那天，她也是这样拉着小行李箱离开，背后拖着一条沉默的，秀丽的，氤氲着深蓝色的影子。一整夜，幹听着自己的妹妹被人肢解，直到天未明，男人带着行李箱离开。
再过了几个月，幹又接到妹妹的电话。这一次她轻飘飘地说自己和一个新的男人同居。他意识到被肢解的那一夜，也许是一个骗局，但无论怎么问，她都没有回答。直到现在。
“这就是找不到的理由？”
“我也试着去找了她的那些‘男朋友’和‘女朋友’，结果就是他们根本不认识梢。就像这些事情是平行世界发生的一样。……对不起，树璃学姐，我说了很奇怪的话吧。”
“不…我相信你。说起来，她在第一次给你打电话的时候，说她有一架钢琴呢。”
“是。”
“然后……今天，我接到电话，她说男朋友给她买了一架钢琴。”
“您——您的意思是——”
“也许，这是反过来的。你一开始接到的会是她最后给你打来的电话，但你得知的她的男朋友与女朋友，现在都还没有与她交往。”树璃列了个表，“如果是她出走的时候的话，那时候她应该还不能结婚吧。”
“也就是说——”
“虽然不确定行不行，但每接到一次电话，就去找找看如何？说不定有哪一次平行世界交叉的时候，就能找到她了。虽然也是不一定的事情。”
“啊……谢谢您，谢谢您学姐！”
“——不用谢。说起来，你之前说的高槻同学家在哪里？我也很好奇。”
“我之后写地址给您。”
在走之前，幹拖着他的行李箱。这回他的脚步极轻快，那束快要枯萎的牵牛花被他摆在行李箱上面。那张卡片上写着“绝不原谅你”。果然，那意思是“我早已原谅你了”。
她到底到哪儿去了呢。树璃在毕业之后的那段日子，一直一直地想着她。想到脖子上的伤痕都淡了，只怕哪天听见的是她结婚的消息。但现在倒是觉得听见结婚的消息也无所谓。她驱车到了那间公寓门口，用幹给的门卡进去。
开门，门把手上都是灰尘。望进去的时候，满室空空荡荡的，只有纱制的窗帘被风吹进来，吹向树璃的方向。厨房里没有碗筷，没有任何人生活过的痕迹，更没有想象中的高槻枝织的笑容。原来她在这里是一种奢望。被她缠绕也成了一种奢望。比起幹的充满希望，她似乎又去到任何一个极端。没有留下任何语言，没有留下任何讯息，高槻枝织就这么消失了。
“……枝织。”
树璃打开房间门，看见在木架床上整整齐齐摆着的一套制服，她提起来抖了一抖。不知道是不是风吹来的，从褶皱里居然抖出了一片橘黄色的玫瑰花瓣。就像她的笑容一样。
她会说什么呢。树璃将那片玫瑰花瓣贴近垂到胸口的链坠，就这样闭上了眼睛。
如果能听见什么声音的话，事情会有所改变吗？但她听见的只有遥远的，属于过去的笑声。在睁开眼的时候，便什么也没有了。
Fin.
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