屏幕里是一个男人正在自慰。
手指很细也很长,是会被投稿到“手控福利帖”的一双手。
刘扬扬一秒钟前还打算迅速关掉当前页面。
同学给的解压网站是色情网站,大家虽然心照不宣,但被推荐Gay Video这件事还是让他慌乱了一下。
都是男人,谁没自慰过似的。
以前在德国见过青春期少年极其不熟练地打飞机,动作僵硬,毫无美感。
你们gay也吃点好的吧。
心里怀揣着这样的想法,实际上却往视频中男人湿答答的性器顶端多看了两眼。
刘扬扬下意识地咽了咽口水,停在“返回”键上方的手指没有了进一步的动作。
男人的账号ID叫“OrangeBaby”,刘扬扬猜他年纪应该不大。镜头拉近特写时能看出来他皮肤很白,轻轻碰一下就能在上面留下不浅的痕迹。
刘扬扬有些难受,下腹发来血液加速循环的信号,微微勃起的器官在叫嚣着此时此刻难以抑制的压迫感。忽然间他脑海中警铃大作,“唰”一下关掉了已经停留好几分钟的界面。
我操。
刘扬扬恨不得扇自己两个耳光。
他伸出一只手向下摸去,想让自己那根起立的东西赶紧消停。努力了一会儿后终于放弃挣扎,被迫接受“十八岁男高的几把硬得像钻石”这种谬论。
刘扬扬在AV区随手点开了一部标签跟叠buff一样的欧美片,白花花的胸部晃得他头晕目眩。随后他又换上另一部封面看着还行的,开屏猛烈的叫声说好听点叫呻吟,说难听点叫杀猪。
刘扬扬直接歇菜。
不对劲,这不是正常的走向。
刘扬扬慌慌张张地撸了一把小兄弟,回想了一下在德国交往过的成熟姐姐,还是没硬起来。
好像有那么一种说法,新鲜事物带来的刺激感要比平时超出一百倍。刘扬扬试图安慰自己,不是他不行,而是那个男人给他带来的冲击过大。
刘扬扬重新在搜索栏中输入了“OrangeBaby”这个名字,男人主页弹出来的一瞬间,他甚至有点不敢直视屏幕。
鲜艳的头像占据了一半视野,被切开的橙子颗粒饱满,轻轻一捏就溢出甜腻的汁水。
刘扬扬心虚地点开那个播放量最高的视频,骨节分明的手又让他心猿意马。
是真男人就要敢于直面突变的性取向。
刘扬扬的小兄弟不到两分钟又站了起来,他的心情蛮复杂,这种复杂让他撸了半天都射不出来。
连屏幕里的男人都射了。
刘扬扬有些烦躁地蹬了一下脚,跟这个未露面的男人置气。视频还有一半没播,刘扬扬以为男人会重复一遍刚才的操作,伸手想换一个别的来看。
只是下一秒画面就被硬生生切断,屏幕黑了几秒钟,再亮起时刘扬扬毫无防备地看到了……
刘扬扬射了,射得很突然。
黏稠的液体弄了一手,他起身飞快地从柜子上抽走几张纸巾,然后躲进卫生间迟迟不肯出来。
刚才手机有没有锁屏,那个视频还在不在继续播放,男人现在进行到哪一步了,这些刘扬扬都不知道,他只知道自己彻底完蛋了。
一张一合的粉色小洞有透明液体往外流,再顺着臀肉的弧度向下滴,两只白净的手指被吸得死死的,仔细听还能听见“噗呲噗呲”的摩擦声。
这是刘扬扬射前看到的画面,那个男人在用后面自慰。
身下的性器比刚才更兴奋了些,刘扬扬认命地朝镜子里看了一眼,狼狈的模样一点也不像自己。
刘扬扬一夜没怎么睡,他眼睛一闭就会想起男人那双手。
起初他还能镇定自若,暗自称赞一句的确好看,后来房间里16度的空调都不管用,热气从身体里噌噌往外冒,止都止不住。
刘扬扬把被子一踢,眼神一飘,又他妈硬了。
升高三的暑假很短,只有两周,书桌上厚厚一叠试卷是刘扬扬从没受过的委屈。以前在德国的时候,假期长得仿佛上学才是附加的任务,如今父亲带他回国发展,就再也没有一天轻松的日子。
啊,真烦。
反正已经睡不着了,不如破罐子破摔把男人的视频全看了。
刘扬扬的自我调理能力一流,上一秒想通下一秒就能采取行动。解决两次生理需求后再看那些视频,脑袋后方似乎自带圣光,看什么都像在欣赏中世纪时期的人体油画。
男人有时候会用玩具,震动棒或者跳蛋之类的。刘扬扬把手机拿很近,眼神直溜溜的就像要盯穿屏幕。
刘扬扬是有一些惊奇发现的。
比如男人用玩具的时候会害羞,因为皮肤会微微泛红,又比如男人偶尔不小心露出一截下巴,不知道是不是错觉,刘扬扬总觉得他舒服得口水都在往下流。
不过这些都不是最要命的。
男人左手食指内侧有一颗不起眼的痣,性感极了,刘扬扬每次看到它在镜头中时隐时现,呼吸都会跟着加快。
似乎还忘了一点,他躺在床上回想这一晚频繁出现的不自在,终于在最后一个视频接近尾声时猛然意识到,太安静了,这个男人自慰的时候实在是太安静了。
这种安静给人一种冷漠的疏离感。他一方面觉得很神奇,一反面又觉得挠心挠肺,他想要从男人口中听出哪怕一丝激烈的快感,却没能如愿。
男人并非完全不出声,只是一直在克制。那种轻微的闷哼是最大程度的反应,更多时候只有比刚开始更沉重一些的呼吸声。
刘扬扬心底长出一根刺,迟迟拔不出来,他难受,但没有任何办法。
班里的英语老师休了长达半年的产假,代课的是位年轻男老师,刚调到高中部一年,叫肖俊。刘扬扬对国内这种半吊子教英文的都不怎么看得上,讲得人直打瞌睡。
英语课代表是入学时根据成绩选出来的,刘扬扬就算一万个不乐意也不敢有意见,他爹让他在学校安分点,哪能造次。好在他不怎么听课也能拿高分,再加上给学校得了不少比赛的奖,老师睁一只眼闭一只眼,对他的要求只有每天把作业收齐。
这还不简单。
但肖俊似乎没有被传达到这条重要的信息,第一天就让刘扬扬帮忙分试卷。
“你说我吗?”刘扬扬站在自己的位置旁,问讲台上的男人。
“如果你是课代表的话。”肖俊回答。
刘扬扬愣了一下,他原本想还嘴,但在看到肖俊面无表情时又改变了主意。
啊,是有那么点不爽的,好像肖俊根本就不在乎这个课代表是谁。
办公室是四人间,刘扬扬一眼就看出来那张干干净净只放了一台笔记本和一个玻璃杯的桌子是肖俊的,厚厚一叠试卷被摆在了椅子旁的置物架上,不占一点空间。
“是这些吗?今天的作业?”刘扬扬朝那边指了指。
“嗯,”肖俊说,“明天上午第三节课之前收齐,下午我要讲。”
“哦,”刘扬扬回答得漫不经心,“老师,我觉得你声音好耳熟啊。”
刘扬扬没开玩笑,他是真觉得肖俊的声音在哪听过。
“可能在学校碰到过吧。”肖俊打开了新的课件,他没打算跟一个学生继续聊下去。
刘扬扬不想再自讨没趣,转身蹲下去拿置物架上的试卷。起身时的动作幅度有些大,碰翻了肖俊手边刚满上水的杯子。
两人几乎同时反应过来,但杯子终究是摔碎了。
“对不起……”刘扬扬伸手就去捡地上的玻璃片,“嘶——”
“干嘛用手去捡?”肖俊顾不上拿纸擦身上的水,抓起刘扬扬被划伤的手仔细查看起来,“不深,一会儿消个毒。”
“嗯,那我先……”刘扬扬顿住了,他看见肖俊抓着自己的那只手露出了食指的内侧。
那里有一颗痣。
肖俊把地面打扫干净后见刘扬扬还蹲在原地,便拍了拍他的后背让他回教室跟同学说一声去医务室。刘扬扬被拍后才猛地回过神,他想离开办公室,却在起身的瞬间两眼一黑。
啊,蹲久了之后是会眩晕的。
“你没事吧?”肖俊的语气有些担忧,“晕血吗?”
“不是……”刘扬扬不敢看肖俊,“我没事,我先去医务室……”
“我陪……”
肖俊话还没说完,刘扬扬就已经冲出办公室了。
做老师毕竟得对学生负责,肖俊还是有些不放心,跟在刘扬扬身后朝医务室走去。
“肖老师你来得正好——”
值班的校医认得肖俊,丢下一句“我去趟厕所”就不见了人影。肖俊有些尴尬地看了看一旁坐着的刘扬扬,犹豫要不要替他处理伤口。
刘扬扬直视着肖俊的眼睛,先前的慌乱早已不复存在,直到肖俊终于被他盯得不自在而偏了头,他才笑嘻嘻地问能不能先帮他消毒。
“老师,我还要赶回去上课,你先帮我吧。”
肖俊没理由拒绝,用棉棒沾酒精涂一涂伤口又不是什么难事。
“手给我,”肖俊示意刘扬扬,“你们这节什么课?”
“是数学,”刘扬扬手指往回缩了缩,“痛……”
“这是酒精,当然痛,”肖俊从桌上拿了一片创可贴,“别贴太久,记得换新的。”
“可是我没有新的呀。”刘扬扬眨眼。
“你……”
肖俊想说什么,但终究是没说出口。他抓了两片创可贴往刘扬扬手里一塞,便头也不回地往外走了。
“没有就来医务室找校医拿。”
刘扬扬撇了撇嘴,极其不情愿地站起身叫肖俊等等他。他发现肖俊的态度很难摸透,他以为装装可怜能博取同情,但好像不起效果。
“老师,”刘扬扬和肖俊之间隔了几级台阶,他停下脚步喊道,“我之前都只用收作业的诶。”
“什么?”肖俊一下没听明白,他在楼梯转角处向下看,刘扬扬正乖巧地望着他。
“英语试卷呀,”刘扬扬说,“我没分过。”
肖俊有点……嗯,无语。他从休假的女老师那里听闻了一些刘扬扬的事迹,别人能惯着,不代表他也能。
“分试卷你不会?”肖俊问。
“我会呀。”刘扬扬答。
“那你说这个干什么?”肖俊不解,也逐渐没了耐心。
“唔,”刘扬扬发现自己第二次交涉失败,立刻转变态度,“没什么,我一会儿下课就来办公室。”
肖俊没再说话,刘扬扬在他身后三步台阶的距离不紧不慢地跟着。到五楼时肖俊还是停下来等刘扬扬了,他说你快回去上课,刘扬扬“嗯”了一声,他就转身朝办公室去了。
刘扬扬在原地站了一会儿,直到肖俊的身影消失在视线中,他才敲响了教室的门。
被数学老师狠狠教育一顿是免不了的,不过刘扬扬脸皮厚,在最后一排罚站也不觉得丢脸。
课后自然是又光顾了肖俊的办公室,刘扬扬见置物架里又多了一叠试卷,问要不要一起发。
“不用,”肖俊说,“那是晚自习的小测,吃了饭再来拿吧。”
“明天也要讲吗?”刘扬扬又问。
“后天,”肖俊看了一课表,“明早改不出来。”
“噢,”刘扬扬已经抱着试卷走到门口,又回过身说,“我可以帮忙呀。”
肖俊没有立刻回答,他此刻觉得刘扬扬很有意思。明明几十分钟前还在自己面前推卸工作,现在又开始给自己揽活。
“不用,”肖俊终于开口,“课代表没有这个义务。”
“好吧——”刘扬扬故意拖长尾音,“那我先回教室了。”
简直莫名其妙,肖俊想。刘扬扬把所有话都说得不以为意,听上去就像随便就许下的一个永远不会兑现的承诺,更像无限试探底线的挑衅,这让他心里堵得慌。
肖俊甩了甩脑袋,不再去想刘扬扬。电脑上的课件还剩一半没有完成,他认命地抬起手继续敲键盘,思考着下班后要剪辑的视频。
拍视频是肖俊消遣的一种方式。虽然一开始是拉不下脸面,但当整个过程给肖俊带来的愉悦远超于羞耻时,他终于以此为乐,在单调乏味的生活中找到一个完全舒适的角落。
他没有告诉任何人这个不算秘密的秘密,倒不是因为自己的原因,而是怕别人觉得不自在。人们就是这样一边回避着性又一边被性所引诱,成年人嘛,肖俊当然都了解。
晚上的小测需要肖俊在教室里监考,他向来不爱干这事,在讲台上呆滞地坐着数时钟上的秒数。中途脑袋一低差点睡着,惊醒后又抬起头看了眼墙上的钟,才过去五分钟。
要命,他想。
学生们埋头奋笔疾书,千篇一律的姿势让肖俊觉得头疼。他也曾经历过这样一段暗无天日的时光,压抑到只是看着别人这样也想闭上眼短暂逃离现实。
肖俊的目光在教室里来回游走,忙不迭对上了同样也心神不宁的刘扬扬的眼睛。对方没有挪开视线,反而暗自跟他较劲起来。
“还有二十分钟收试卷,”肖俊提醒道,“大家抓紧时间。”
刘扬扬这才低下头,但他并没有继续答题,而是趴在桌子上偷笑。就像青春期男生给心上人计划了一场幼稚的告白,想到就会不自觉地傻笑,瞒都瞒不住。
但他当然不会让肖俊发现他在笑。
好不容易收起的嘴角还留有一丝弧度,刘扬扬再抬起头时,试卷上还有三篇阅读理解没有做。似乎有点要完蛋了,得找个理由搪塞过去才行。
下课铃声响起,教室里传来窸窣的叫苦声。肖俊让刘扬扬收试卷,后者慢吞吞地挪着脚步,一副要晕倒的架势。
肖俊料他又在打什么鬼主意,没搭理他,从他手中接过试卷就要往教室外走。刘扬扬大概也没想到肖俊会是这样的反应,只能咬牙豁出去,一屁股坐在地上。
“哐当”一声,凳子翻倒了。
刘扬扬疼得呲牙咧嘴,不是装的,是他刚才脚一滑真那么摔倒了。肖俊果然回过头来看了,刘扬扬暗自在心里为自己鼓掌,面上依旧委屈地说自己好像站不起来了。
肖俊无奈地叹了口气,走到刘扬扬身边查看情况。这时已经是放学时间,教室里的同学几乎走光了,留下来的几个也正在收拾东西,担忧地问肖俊需不需要帮忙。
“不用,”肖俊说,“你们快回家吧。”
等到教室里就剩下肖俊和刘扬扬两个人,刘扬扬才开口说自己是真的崴着脚了。肖俊的眼神有些怀疑,但还是伸出一只手示意刘扬扬借力站起来。
“谢啦……”刘扬扬拉住他肖俊的手,“麻烦老师了。”
“不麻烦,”肖俊说,“你怎么回家?”
“哦,”刘扬扬低下头想了想,“打个车吧。”
肖俊感觉刘扬扬都快要哭出来了,问他要不要给父母打电话来接一下。
“他们这周都不在,打了也没用。”
算了,肖俊想。刘扬扬现在这副可怜样子看上去不像是装出来的,他对先前自己误会刘扬扬的想法表示惭愧。
“我送你回去,走吧。”
“真的?”刘扬扬一下睁大了眼睛,但随即又跟蔫了似的,“会不会太麻烦了……”
“真的,”肖俊没忍住笑刘扬扬小心翼翼的语气,“这么晚了,让一个受伤的学生自己打车回家,怎么也说不过去吧?”
“我家不远,”刘扬扬立刻说,“就在附近。”
这附近可都是学区房,肖俊没说,只是在心里念叨着。看来刘扬扬也是个货真价实的小少爷,怪不得小脾气使得这么顺手。
肖俊把车停在了刘扬扬家小区门口,此时刘扬扬崴到的左脚踝已经肿到不行,他让刘扬扬先别动,自己下去把人扶出了车。
“家里有急救箱吗?”肖俊问。
“应该有,不过得找找。”刘扬扬回答。
“一会儿给你涂点药,”肖俊想了想,继续说,“明早给我打电话,我接你去学校。”
刘扬扬没说话,他嘴唇动了动,头往一旁偏。肖俊以为他是累了,便没再出声。
两人就这么沉默着走到了家门口,肖俊让刘扬扬拿钥匙开门,可刘扬扬摸遍全身也没把钥匙找出来。糟糕,有点尴尬。刘扬扬干笑着继续翻书包,还是不见钥匙的踪影。
“老师……”刘扬扬心虚地叫道。
“忘带了?”肖俊问。
“嗯……”刘扬扬埋着头,声音嗡嗡的,“我可以去酒店……”
得了吧。
肖俊用手拍了拍自己胸口,仿佛在跟自己的良心做斗争,最终还是不放心让刘扬扬一个人住酒店。
“走吧。”肖俊没说去哪。
“啊?哦……”刘扬扬情绪低落,“最近的酒店就在小区对面……”
“我是说去我家。”肖俊打断刘扬扬。
“什么?”刘扬扬脑子里猛然出现一些让人面红心跳的画面,“要不我还是……”
“还是什么?”肖俊瞪了刘扬扬一眼,“我把你扔去酒店你出事了怎么办?”
刘扬扬抿着嘴唇,看肖俊的眼神亮亮的。他说老师谢谢你,原来被关心的感觉是这样的。肖俊不禁皱眉,但他没多问,只告诉刘扬扬到他家后得守规矩。
“放心啦,”刘扬扬调侃道,“我很乖的。”
“是吗?”肖俊回怼道,“我没太看出来。”
“真的,”刘扬扬笑嘻嘻地说,“我爸经常说不听话就滚出去,我又不能真的滚出去。”
又来了,类似的话肖俊今晚已经听了三次,再装作没听见就说不过去了。虽然不知道刘扬扬是不是故意说给自己听的,但肖俊总觉得这种情况不能再持续下去了。
肖俊在开车回家的路上并没有立刻向刘扬扬提起这件事,刘扬扬在一旁明显有些局促。肖俊伸手从后面拿了瓶矿泉水给刘扬扬,刘扬扬咬着下嘴唇为难地看过来,说他其实不渴。
“怎么,”肖俊逗他,“座位上是有刺吗,动来动去的。”
“不是,”刘扬扬撇嘴,“老师你一点都不关心我。”
“哦,”肖俊憋笑,“刚刚在你家小区,谁谢谢我来着?”
刘扬扬噎住,转过头狠狠瞪了肖俊一眼,说他一个成年人怎么还耍赖皮。肖俊没反驳,刘扬扬一个拳头仿佛砸在棉花上,软绵绵的使不上力气。
“行了,”肖俊终于停止了幼稚的行为,“你父母什么时候回家?”
“干嘛?”刘扬扬警惕地问,“急着把我甩掉吗?”
“什么?”肖俊没想到刘扬扬是这个反应,“不是,我就是了解一下你的情况。”
其实刘扬扬刚刚话一出口就后悔了,他没想冲肖俊发脾气,只是听到“父母”两个字会下意识地条件反射。
“周六吧,”刘扬扬说,“我也不确定,没人告诉我。”
“你……”肖俊顿了一下,“明天我找班主任说一下。”
“这有什么好说的,”刘扬扬扭过头不解地望着肖俊,“班主任一直知道啊。”
“知道你家是这样的情况?”肖俊问。
“不然那些老师为什么不管我,”刘扬扬伸手戳了戳车窗,在上面留下一个小小的指印,“因为他们知道我爸妈都不管我。”
肖俊沉默了一会儿,刘扬扬见他不说话,把脑袋“砰”一下撞在窗户上。肖俊这才趁着红灯朝刘扬扬看过来,说刘扬扬你发什么神经。
“我不发神经你不理我。”刘扬扬说。
“你这人真是……”绿灯亮起,肖俊松开刹车换油门,“别人都不喜欢有人管自己,你怎么反着来?”
“那你管我吗?”刘扬扬忽然倾身凑到肖俊跟前,安全带被拽得咯吱响,“老师?”
肖俊第一次感受到来自一个学生的无形的压迫感,他竟然下意识地吞咽了一下。他把车开进地下车库停好,然后熄火,结束这一切动作后才认真地回答刘扬扬的问题。
“管,”肖俊说,“记住你答应我的,现在跟我上楼。”
“知道了。”刘扬扬说。
刘扬扬答应肖俊自己会乖乖的,但实际上他并没有打算这么做。肖俊让他在玄关等等,他一眼向客厅扫去就看见了熟悉的场景。
米白色的抓毛地毯,OrangeBaby经常在上面自慰。水灰色的麂皮沙发,精液滴上去似乎不太好清理,所以OrangeBaby只会将它垫在身后。
所有画面在脑海中重新拼凑,曾经没有脸的意淫对象在顷刻间都变成了肖俊。原本一颗痣并不能证明什么,但此时刘扬扬只觉得心脏快要爆炸了。
“好不容易从储藏间找到一双拖鞋,”肖俊急匆匆地走过来,“你不会介意上面有两只绵羊吧?”
“不介意,”刘扬扬接过拖鞋,“老师你家平时都没有客人来吗?”
“没有,”肖俊回答,“我不喜欢家里有别人。”
刘扬扬动作一滞,默不作声地继续低头换鞋。肖俊转身去厨房倒水,隔着老远问刘扬扬是喝饮料还是白水。
“要芬达。”刘扬扬提高音量。
“家里没有芬达,”肖俊在冰箱里扫了一眼,“可乐可以吗?”
“那就白水吧。”刘扬扬说。
肖俊拿了一瓶矿泉水放在客厅的茶几上,又用玻璃杯接了一杯温水递给刘扬扬,问他干嘛只要芬达。
“因为是橙子味的,很甜。”刘扬扬回答。
“你还挑上了啊,”肖俊说,“赶紧洗澡吧,外面这个浴室就能用,我去给你拿新的毛巾……对了,内裤有新的,或者可以一会儿洗了直接烘干。”
“可我明晚也没地方住,”刘扬扬说,“所以还是拿新的吧。”
肖俊愣了愣,想起刘扬扬说不知道父母什么时候回家的话。他知道自己得收留这个可怜的学生好几个晚上,但一直这么下去也不是办法。
“明天给你父母打个电话吧,”肖俊叹道,“不是要赶你走,就跟他们说你在老师家。”
“哦,”刘扬扬点头,“知道了。”
“毛巾拿去吧,”肖俊把手里的东西递出去,“有什么需要的再叫我。”
浴室里传来哗啦啦的流水声,肖俊终于松了一口气,躺倒在沙发上。今晚注定是没办法剪辑视频了,刘扬扬住下的这几天也不可能拍新的视频,不过还好电脑里有一些存货,可千万不能让刘扬扬碰到电脑啊。
扑通——
浴室里传来奇怪的落水声,肖俊刚想问是不是什么东西掉进了马桶,冲水声便紧接着响起。肖俊等了会儿也没听见刘扬扬吭声,这才起身去阳台收衣服。
刘扬扬站在花洒下发呆,他静静地听着门外的动静,直到传来均匀的脚步声,他才朝马桶里看了一眼,钥匙被冲走了。
刘扬扬从浴室出来时没看见肖俊,主卧的房门紧闭着,他猜肖俊大概是在洗澡。他怀着忐忑的心情走到门口,轻轻敲了敲,没人回应。随后他将门打开,暖黄的灯光让人犯困,干净宽敞的卧室没有一丝可疑的痕迹。
花洒声戛然而止。
刘扬扬立刻退出了房间,仿佛从来没有踏入过这片禁区。
肖俊从卧室出来时身上还冒着淡淡的热气,刘扬扬看着他身上那件松垮的睡衣有些恍惚,因为肖俊总是在视频里将上衣半脱半穿地挂在臂弯处,胸前粉色的乳头时隐时现。
“怎么不吹头?”肖俊见刘扬扬呆坐在沙发上,不禁开口,“着凉了怎么办?”
“我喜欢等头发自然干,”刘扬扬说,“我睡哪间房呀?”
肖俊指了指门廊另一头的房间,然后又从浴室里拿出吹风机塞进刘扬扬手里,说不吹干头发不许睡觉,这是家里的规矩。
刘扬扬嘀咕了一句“规矩不就是用来打破的”,肖俊没听清,问他说了什么,他仰起头咧嘴露出牙齿,说老师我知道了。
原本肖俊第二天早上是没课的,但为了送刘扬扬去学校,他不得不跟着起个大早。卧室门外似乎已经有了动静,肖俊猜刘扬扬应该是起床了,他磨蹭着从被窝里钻出来,睡衣还没换下,就打算去厨房做早饭。
只是推开门的瞬间肖俊就有了不好的预感。因为刘扬扬面露难色地站在不远处,他身后是关上门的浴室,正对着的则是肖俊大多数时候拍摄用的房间,屋里摆着各种各样的道具。
刘扬扬转头朝肖俊看来,就像做错事被发现的小孩那样,手忙脚乱地关上面前的门,一动不动地等肖俊开口训话。
“洗漱了吗?”肖俊问。
“还没……”刘扬扬低着头说,“刚才没睡醒,以为这边是浴室……”
“先洗漱吧,”肖俊神色如常地路过刘扬扬身边,走到厨房门口才想起来什么似的,回过身问,“早餐吃三明治可以吗?”
“可以……”
肖俊顺手关了厨房门,蹲在地上喘了很久。他一直没给房间上锁的原因是家里本来就不怎么有客人来,别人也就算了,偏偏是被学生看见。
门外传来刘扬扬的声音,肖俊三两下将现成的食材夹进两片吐司间,从一旁的机器上取下刚磨好的咖啡,匆忙地走出厨房。
“要牛奶还是咖啡?”肖俊拿着一个空玻璃杯问刘扬扬。
“牛……要咖啡。”刘扬扬差点咬到自己的舌头,如果放在平时,他一定选牛奶,此刻却怎么也不愿意被当成小孩子看待。
黑漆漆的液体,比命还苦。刘扬扬几乎是一饮而尽,甚至没能来得及听到肖俊说的那个“烫”字。
“你没事吧?”肖俊的语气明显有些担忧。
“没事。”刘扬扬强装镇定。
“噗,”肖俊是真的笑出了声,“张嘴我看看。”
“我不,”刘扬扬没有照做,“我想喝牛奶。
肖俊起身回到厨房,他从冰箱里夹了两块冰,扔进水里滚了滚,再拿出来塞进了刘扬扬的嘴里。
“唔唔,”刘扬扬一下没准备好,“好冰呀!”
“含着吧,”肖俊说,“瞧你那样,肯定烫出泡来了。”
有也绝不承认,刘扬扬心想。他舌头裹着冰块好一会儿才终于觉得缓过来一些,见肖俊压根没打算提起刚才房间的事,也就乖乖地管住了嘴。
只是一整天他都魂不守舍,那晚他趁肖俊洗澡又悄悄开了下那间房的门,发现已经落了锁。哈……他忽然觉得自己这样很像个变态,但他对肖俊的一切都越来越好奇,仿佛不一探究竟就会日思夜寐。
刘扬扬在肖俊家住了三天后便被他爹接走了,他爹来的时候还差点当着肖俊的面揍他一顿,说就知道给老师添麻烦。
那之后刘扬扬就不太对劲了,上课走神不说,轻轻松松能拿满分的小测验也不尽人意。这样的状态起码持续了一个月时间,肖俊终于忍不住把刘扬扬叫到办公室,问他到底怎么回事。
“没怎么回事呀。”刘扬扬回答得理直气壮。
“没怎么回事你昨晚给我交白卷?”肖俊觉得又气又好笑。
“那不是觉得太简单了就懒得写嘛。”刘扬扬继续胡言乱语。
“刘扬扬,”肖俊终于严肃起来,“你别在我面前发神经。”
刘扬扬这才收起那副无所谓的态度,转过头认认真真地看着肖俊。他说老师你这么久才发现吗,我为了吸引你的注意力也演得挺累的。
肖俊知道刘扬扬话里是什么意思,秘密被发现后肖俊便无意识地躲着刘扬扬,试卷不让他分了,作业也不让他收了。
刘扬扬要是没察觉到那就是脑子不好了。他先是在小测验的时候乱写答案,但那样只是分数不好看,可想而知肖俊并没有拿他怎么样。后面他意识到想要吸引肖俊的注意必须用更极端的方式,于是他开始上课睡觉,开始交白卷。
果然这一招是有用的。
但也成功地惹恼了肖俊。
肖俊不知道刘扬扬是否需要在高考时拿一个好成绩,又或许他其实只需要一张毕业证。肖俊开始后悔一个月前对刘扬扬伸出了手,要知道多管闲事从来都不会有好结果。
“随便吧,”肖俊说,“你以后再这样我不会管你了。”
等等,这不是刘扬扬想听到的答案。他一把抓住肖俊的手腕,力气大得吓人。肖俊吃痛地哼了一声,想甩开却发现使不上劲。
“刘扬扬!”
刘扬扬也没想到自己会这么做,他立刻松开了手,但还是在肖俊的手腕处留下了一道红痕。随后他飞快地说了声“对不起”,然后便冲出了办公室。
那之后几天的时间里,刘扬扬都乖乖在肖俊面前扮演一个好学生的角色,肖俊拿他没办法,只能跟他维持着一种表面看似平衡的师生关系。
刘扬扬生日那天下很大的雨,晚自习放学后他拿着伞站在校门口,并没有着急离开。一旁是不知道哪个班的倒霉蛋,被雨淋得哆哆嗦嗦的。
刘扬扬把伞递过去,对方有些犹豫地收下,问他怎么回家,他说家里人来接。那人这才放心地点点头说谢了,临走前又问他哪个班的,明天把伞还回来。
“不用还了,”刘扬扬急着说,“你赶紧走吧。”
那人走后没几分钟,刘扬扬身后就亮起一束光,他知道那是肖俊的车灯。车从身旁经过的时候刘扬扬看见了肖俊望过来的眼神,但他没把握肖俊还会不会可怜自己。
车没有停下,果然是不会了。
刘扬扬甩了甩头上的雨水,掏出手机就要给司机打电话,通话键还没按下,面前又亮起灯,同时还响起了喇叭声。
“赶紧上来。”肖俊摇下车窗对刘扬扬说。
刘扬扬迅速给手机锁了屏,然后揣进兜里。上车后他抿着嘴给自己系上安全带,又转过头问肖俊把车里弄湿了怎么办。
“你现在还有心思担心这个?”肖俊皱着眉问。
“因为我发现我好像每次在老师面前都能把所有事搞砸。”
刘扬扬注视着面前的车前玻璃,看雨刮器一下一下来回摆动,视线时而清晰时而模糊,就像他永远也无法捕捉到的肖俊的真实想法。肖俊适时地启动汽车,想将刘扬扬的话抛至脑后,却发现怎么也抛不掉。
小羊拖鞋还摆在鞋柜里,刘扬扬用过的毛巾也还挂在客房的衣柜里。当肖俊意识到自己已经惯性地把刘扬扬当成会常来这里的住客时,险些连故作镇定都无法做到。
“老师,”刘扬扬低头换鞋,“能点外卖吗?”
“你饿了?”肖俊问,“冰箱里应该有吃的。”
“我不饿,”刘扬扬换好鞋后站得笔直,“可是我今天生日想吃蛋糕诶。”
肖俊此时已经朝厨房走去,听到这话后又折返回来。他从茶几上拿起手机解了锁,然后点开外卖软件让刘扬扬自己看想点什么。
但这个点哪有蛋糕店还开着门。
刘扬扬有些失望地把手机递回给肖俊,说好像点不了了。肖俊问是多少岁的生日,他说十八岁。
“我给你煮碗长寿面可以吗?”肖俊伸手揉了一把刘扬扬脑袋。
“嗯,”刘扬扬依旧低着头,“再加个荷包蛋可以吗?”
“当然可以了,”肖俊说,“你在沙发上坐会儿。”
此时客厅只开了一面壁灯,暖色的光映在另一面墙上,就像很远很远望不到头的另一边的海平线上的落日。刘扬扬曾经见过一回这样的景色,叫人一步一步迈向面前无尽的大海,直到海水没过膝盖,直到身后传来焦急的哭喊声。
那天所有人都以为刘扬扬要跳海,但他只是想离太阳更近一点。
肖俊将那碗热气腾腾的长寿面端出来时刘扬扬还盯着墙上的光晕发呆,他拿着筷子在刘扬扬面前晃了好几下,才让这小子回过神来。
“正好现在光线暗,”肖俊走到门廊边,“你许个愿我再把大灯打开。”
“老师你不过来吗?”刘扬扬问道,“你要给我唱生日歌呀。”
真是拿小孩子没办法。
肖俊又坐回到刘扬扬身边,手里还拿着不知道从哪变出来的烟花棒。
“锵锵——”肖俊晃了晃手里的东西,“家里没有适合给你吹的蜡烛,就用这个代替一下吧。”
刘扬扬眼睛都亮了,他接过烟花棒捏在手里,等待着肖俊点燃它。
“愿望别许太久,”肖俊提醒道,“在它熄灭前许好才灵。”
“我知道了老师,”刘扬扬催促道,“你快点呀。”
烟花棒被点燃,噼噼啪啪的星光一瞬间绽开。肖俊看着面前双手合十安静许愿的男孩,忽然也闭上眼睛,他想刘扬扬一定要幸福。
不多不少九秒钟,燃尽后的烟花棒还残留着半点橙色的火心,过了好久才完全熄灭。
“生日快乐,扬扬。”
这是刘扬扬第一次听别人这么叫他。他猛地站起身说不是要开灯吗,然后迅速走到门廊边,胡乱用手臂蹭了蹭脸,才按下了开关。
屋内灯火通明,刘扬扬转过身朝沙发上的肖俊看过去,就像在看一个等他回家的人。
“快过来,”肖俊叫他,“面再不吃就冷了。”
“老师你知道吗,”刘扬扬往回走,“我刚才许了两个愿望。”
“别说出来啊,”肖俊立刻打断刘扬扬,“说出来就不灵了。”
“你不是说在烟花棒熄灭前许愿就会灵吗?”刘扬扬皱了皱眉,“老师在骗我吗?”
“不是……”肖俊辩解道,“人家生日愿望都是只有自己知道的,怎么你还想让别人知道啊。”
“因为我的愿望跟老师你有关啊,”刘扬扬直直地朝肖俊看过来,“不说出来的话要怎么实现?”
肖俊隐约觉得刘扬扬接下来的话不能听。但刘扬扬似乎没打算给肖俊逃跑的机会,他抓住肖俊的手腕,稍一用劲就将人拉到了自己跟前。
“第一个愿望,”刘扬扬又凑近了些,“我想要老师亲我一下。”
肖俊下意识地往后挣,但刘扬扬的力气太大,他挣不开。
“刘扬扬,”肖俊试图稳住呼吸,“你知道自己在干什么吗?”
“知道呀,”刘扬扬又往前倾了倾,“所以没办法实现吗?那老师为什么要说那样的话,什么烟火熄灭前许愿会灵,原来就是骗小孩的啊。”
肖俊死死抿住嘴唇,他想说不是的。父母哄小孩的伎俩无非就是那些,如果这次你做得好,那爸爸妈妈下次就给你买玩具。哈,自己的话确实跟这种话术没什么两样嘛。
到头来一样成为了糟糕的大人。
刘扬扬松开了肖俊,他蹲在茶几前拿起那双筷子,在已经放凉的面条里搅了搅。被包裹住的热气被释放出来,争先恐后地往上窜。
香气开始蔓延开来,刘扬扬吸了吸鼻子,听不出来是在闻味道还是在哭。面上煮得半熟的溏心蛋滚出金灿灿的流心,倒是勾起了刘扬扬的食欲。
他想一口吃掉那个鸡蛋,握筷子的手不太熟练地操作着。“啪嗒”一声,鸡蛋掉下去,蛋黄流进汤里,碗里浑浊得一塌糊涂。
刘扬扬觉得委屈极了,他想问肖俊能不能重新做一碗,但他知道肖俊现在一定烦透他了。
“刘扬扬,”肖俊的声音在身后响起,“你转过头来。”
刘扬扬其实是不乐意的,他猜肖俊是想看他出丑的样子,于是不吭声,一动不动地盯着面前的长寿面。
“扬扬,”肖俊又改变称呼,“我没有骗你,你转过来,我实现你的愿望。”
“我是说……”刘扬扬一回头便被肖俊捧住脸亲了一下,啵唧一声后又分开,“我说的是亲嘴呀!”
“你只说亲一下,”肖俊微微别过头喘气,“亲脸怎么就不算了?”
“老师你又耍赖!”
刘扬扬气得站起了身,然后就那样俯视着还坐在沙发上的肖俊。两人都没有进一步的动作,直到刘扬扬抬起膝盖骑到了肖俊的大腿上。
“下去,”肖俊气息有些不稳,“别太过分了啊。”
“我还什么都没做呢,”刘扬扬得寸进尺地弯下腰把头垫在肖俊肩上,“在说第二个愿望前,你要先答应我一件事。”
“我听听看。”肖俊有些无奈地闭上了眼睛。
“不许再跟我玩什么文字游戏,”刘扬扬说,“还有……你说过不会骗我的。”
“所以愿望是?”肖俊顺着刘扬扬的话继续说。
“老师你自慰给我看吧。”
“什么?”肖俊以为自己听错了。
“不用那些玩具,就用手,弄后面。”
刘扬扬这他妈一定是疯了吧。
房间里摆放的玩具刘扬扬基本都见过,他知道肖俊不爱用跳蛋,还知道肖俊偏向那根透明的震动棒,因为沾上精液后会显得更加色情。
他问肖俊能不能再进一次那个房间,肖俊斜眼看了他一下,说你一边让我用手一边又想看玩具,人不能这么贪心的你知道吗?
刘扬扬自知理亏,于是趴在肖俊身上环住他的肩膀,闷闷不乐地说知道。肖俊让他起开,他也磨磨蹭蹭赖着不走,直到肖俊说再不松手的话过了十二点愿望就自动作废。
“为什么许这个愿望?”肖俊问刘扬扬。
“好奇……”刘扬扬撒谎了,“还有我成年了。”
“你知道小孩子都爱证明自己不是小孩子吗?”
“……”刘扬扬想反驳,可无论怎样都无法改变他和肖俊之间相差十岁的事实。
“我答应你这样无理的要求也不是因为别的,”肖俊继续说着刘扬扬不爱听的话,“总之新鲜感过了就好了吧。”
刘扬扬死死咬着牙不说话,他很想质问肖俊凭什么胡乱猜测他的想法,但他没那么做,他不想肖俊又生他的气。
“老师,”刘扬扬抬起头看着肖俊,“一起洗澡吧。”
肖俊直接让刘扬扬进了主卧的浴室,他没打算再对刘扬扬藏着掖着。浴室镜子后面是他偶尔会用的工具,老实说他不是经常在这做些什么,只是有时会图个方便顺手完成拍视频前的准备工作。
“你就站在那,”肖俊朝浴缸旁扬了扬下巴,“别动。”
“哦,”刘扬扬嘴上不乐意,但还是乖乖照做,“不是要洗澡吗,干嘛让我站在这。”
“我不是说了吗,”肖俊给浴缸里放了点水,“过了十二点愿望就作废,所以你是想洗澡还是?”
“知道了!”刘扬扬脸唰一下变红,他以为肖俊至少在他面前矜持一些。
浴缸里的水没过肖俊的脚踝,两条裤腿都被打湿。他一只手去关放水的开关,另一只手直接将裤子脱下扔到了一旁的脏衣篓里。
刘扬扬站在原地不知道眼神该往哪放,肖俊那双腿他也不是第一次看,这样不用隔着一块屏幕的感觉……很微妙,让人忍不住想伸手去摸。
肖俊一条腿跨过浴缸赤脚踩在浴室的地板上,另一条在身后微微翘起以保持平衡。随后他一只手撑着不远处的洗手台,另一只从镜子后面那了一瓶润滑剂,橙子味的。
刘扬扬眼睛都瞪直了,虽然他不想把肖俊现在的行为当作是一种引诱,但是这,这分明就是欺负人啊!
但肖俊俨然没有照顾刘扬扬感受的意思,他假装没看见刘扬扬下面鼓起的部位,将内裤褪至大腿处,然后打开润滑剂往手心挤了不少,最后侧过身将手往后伸,身体弯成了一道好看的曲线。
没脱的居家T恤是长款,下摆正好遮住了大腿根部。肖俊的性器还未勃起,光是随意垂在腿间,都让刘扬扬呼吸加快。
浴室温度逐渐升高,刘扬扬将嘴唇咬到充血,肖俊的手臂每动一下,都仿佛在他的心上轻轻挠了下痒。转过来,他想要肖俊转过来,他想看肖俊的手指在小穴里抽插。
刘扬扬抬了抬脚。
肖俊立刻察觉到了。
“忍不住了?”肖俊的语气有些挑衅。
“你……”刘扬扬倒吸一口气,“老师你故意的?”
“过来,“肖俊另一只手朝刘扬扬勾了勾,“坐到这来。”
肖俊指的是浴缸边缘,潮湿的浴室早已让上面覆盖着薄薄一层水珠,滑得要命。刘扬扬知道自己坐不稳,手死死扣在身体两侧,与他视线平行的是肖俊起伏的胸膛。
要打湿那里,刘扬扬脑海中此刻全是这样的想法。他的身体快大脑一步地有了动作,拧开花洒将肖俊从头到脚淋了个透。沾水的T恤紧紧贴着肖俊的皮肤,因为后穴不断被手指抽插,乳尖早已被刺激得完全挺立。
刘扬扬想伸手去摸,却一把被肖俊打开。
“……老师?”刘扬扬怔愣着问。
“再动一下我就出去了。”肖俊微微有些喘气。
“可以把衣服脱了吗?我不动了。”刘扬扬小声说。
肖俊从后面抽出手指,指尖还挂着拉丝相连的透明液体。他把湿透的衣服脱下,刘扬扬这才发现他整个身体都染上一层淡淡的粉色,不知道是热的还是臊的。
这不是刘扬扬第一次看肖俊的裸体,他必须得承认,肉眼带来的冲击是视频的一百甚至一千倍。
肖俊好几次腿软差点跌倒,都因为背靠刘扬扬而被及时扶住,之后他便不再让刘扬扬“别动”了。
刘扬扬是懂得如何一步一步击溃肖俊防线的,当他一条腿也跨进浴缸时,肖俊甚至还将手撑在了上面。
刘扬扬在心里给自己竖了个大拇指。
任由肖俊挂在自己身上后刘扬扬借机假装不小心滑倒,连带着肖俊两个人一起滚到了水里。虽然后背被磕得生疼,他还是死死将肖俊箍在怀里不撒手。
肖俊的下腹和刘扬扬的紧紧贴在一起,不断的摩擦挤压让他直接射了,射在刘扬扬的身上。
“老师……”刘扬扬没见过这场面,一下子有些慌,“我给你擦一下。”
“擦什么啊,”肖俊从刘扬扬怀里挣脱开来,“反正一会儿要洗。”
“那,”刘扬扬低头看着自己仍然勃起的器官,不好意思极了,“我可以自己解决一下吗……”
两人现在的姿势非常暧昧,肖俊几乎跨坐在刘扬扬腰间,那东西一直顶着他,他想忽略都难。
“你……”肖俊犹豫着开口,“之前自己解决过吗?”
“这不是……废话吗!”刘扬扬急得脖子根都红了,“我又没病!”
小男生的自尊心真是太可怕了。
这话肖俊没说出来。他一直好奇刘扬扬为什么会对自己提那样的要求,难道真的是因为那天早上偶然撞见了那一屋子的玩具吗?如果刘扬扬是出于猎奇心理而做的这一切,那么满足他就是最好的解决方法。
肖俊早在心里想好了,等这些荒唐的事情全部结束,他和刘扬扬之间的来往便就此画上句号。他原本就只是个代课的老师,刘扬扬会毕业,他们会再无交集。
“我帮你吧。”肖俊说。
“啊?不、不用了。”刘扬扬想阻止肖俊,但似乎已经来不及了。
肖俊伸手去解刘扬扬的裤子,那根硬得吓人的东西直接弹了出来,打在肖俊的手背上。被打的地方不出意外立刻有了一道红痕,有点疼,但肖俊没有因此而停下动作。
他两只手一起握住刘扬扬的性器,来回的剧烈摩擦竟然让他手心有些疼。虽然知道青春期男生的精力旺盛,但亲自体验后还是觉得吃不消。肖俊不知道帮刘扬扬撸了多长时间,总之他明显感觉到手腕和手臂开始酸痛时,这小子居然还没射。
“你……没感觉吗?”老实说这是肖俊第一次怀疑自己的技术。
“还、还差点……”刘扬扬说的是真话。
肖俊忽然停下了手里的动作。
刘扬扬满脸无辜地望着他。
“别动,”肖俊从浴缸里站起来,“等我一下。”
刘扬扬只能照做。在等待肖俊回来得这两分钟时间里刘扬扬没忍住自己撸了两把,还是同样的感觉,想射但是射不出来。他总觉得还差最后一点刺激他的东西,但怎么也想不出来应该是什么。
肖俊拿回来一盒避孕套,虽然他不确定尺寸是否合适。
“这个这个是……你要干什么?”刘扬扬脸上写着“警觉”两个字。
“怎么了?害怕我强迫你?”肖俊难得逗一下刘扬扬。
“啊啊啊啊啊——老师你在说什么呀?”刘扬扬使劲瞪肖俊。
“放心吧,”肖俊撕开一个避孕套,“当然是让你爽了,小处男。”
十八岁男高可听不得这话。
刘扬扬的性器在肖俊手里又变硬了几分。
肖俊坐上去的时候只有一个想法,那就是太他妈痛了。刘扬扬那玩意儿比他用过的所有自慰棒都粗,要不是刚才用手扩张过后面,现在估计连进都进不去。
“老师……”
“呃,”肖俊感觉到刘扬扬射了,“你好像……”
“老师你太紧了……”刘扬扬几乎要哭出来了,“夹得我好痛。”
“那,那对不起?”
肖俊真的很想笑,他慢慢将自己的身体往外抽,刘扬扬以为他想离开,条件反射地顶了顶,直接顶到了肖俊的最深处。
“唔——”肖俊简直毫无防备,“刘扬扬!”
刚才的声音是肖俊发出来的吗?
刘扬扬两只手扣住肖俊的臀肉,不让他动弹,他想是不是只要像刚才那样往肖俊身体里顶撞就能再听见肖俊的叫声。直觉告诉他那样做会让肖俊不高兴,但刘扬扬现在已经没有了理智。
虽然不愿意承认,但刘扬扬的确特意在网站上学过男人和男人之间如何做爱,他觉得那些视频里的人都太粗俗。
肖俊和那些人都不一样。
刘扬扬在寻找那个可以刺激肖俊的点,但他看上去顶得毫无章法。就像在川流不息的街道上横冲直撞,让人胆战心惊。
肖俊死死环住刘扬扬的脖子,他想说他刚才只是打算给刘扬扬换个避孕套。他不知道刘扬扬怎么以为的,他只知道这臭小子技术烂到家,像个打桩机似的在他身体里乱来。
“我说……呃。”肖俊每次想说话都会被刘扬扬用行动堵住嘴。
刘扬扬抽插的速度又极快,肖俊挂在他身上不停地抖,后穴不断地收缩,吸得刘扬扬都快要忍不住出声。
这一次久到肖俊险些在刘扬扬怀里晕过去,他终于在仅存的一点意识中感觉到与刘扬扬相连的部位在不停地溢出淫乱的液体,有他的,也有刘扬扬的。
刘扬扬没有回那个给他准备的客房,他留在了主卧,静悄悄地趴在肖俊身旁。他不记得后来他又缠着肖俊做了几次,其实刚才肖俊耗尽最后一丝力气告诉他不能再做的时候,他都还想拜托肖俊再来一次。
只是肖俊看上去似乎真的很累。
好多问题萦绕在脑海中,那是刘扬扬不敢去想的以后。他一直在回避自己与肖俊之间的关系,将对肖俊的那份渴望都归因于一开始的诱惑,但其实真的如此吗?
刘扬扬舍不得肖俊。他想把这个男人永远拴在身边,他想要这个男人每一次喘息都是因为自己,他还想……
肖俊醒来时有些无奈地看了看身边还在熟睡的男孩,安静的模样怎么看都不像是昨晚那个一边哭一边求着他再来一次的人。虽然很可爱,但可爱的外表下居然是贪吃的恶魔。
“刘扬扬,起床了!”肖俊拍了拍身边人的脸。
“唔,”刘扬扬身子挪了挪,“再睡五分钟。”
“五分钟后出来吃早饭,”肖俊说,“做不到的话今天就自己去学校。”
“什么啊!”刘扬扬“噌”一下弹射起来。
“今天周五,”肖俊似笑非笑地看着刘扬扬,“有些同学不会忘了吧?”
啊啊啊啊啊——
刘扬扬三分钟洗漱完毕,从餐桌上拿了一片肖俊烤好的吐司塞进嘴里,呜呜啊啊地乱叫了一通,肖俊一个字都没听懂。
“说人话。”肖俊将最后一口咖啡喝下去。
“我是说,”刘扬扬咽下嘴里的东西,“现在可以一起去学校了吧?”
学校是个神奇的地方,它总能将一些细小的暧昧无限放大。刘扬扬试图给自己制造无数个机会在课堂上恰好对上肖俊的视线,但都被肖俊不动声色地躲开。
课后办公室总少不了刘扬扬的身影,有时候别的老师也在,他便找各种理由赖着不走,他想跟肖俊待在一起,无论在什么地方。
刘扬扬以为自己跟肖俊之间的关系会越来越亲密,但事实却正好相反。他不懂肖俊为什么总是刻意回避自己,不再叫他去办公室帮忙,上课时眼神从不在他身上停留。好像两人之间一个人正向前全力奔跑,而另一个人却在后退。
“老师!”
又一次下课后肖俊急匆匆地离开教室,刘扬扬在身后叫他,他有些僵硬地转过身,问怎么了。
“你说晚自习有小测……”刘扬扬小声说,“让我去办公室拿试卷。”
“没事,晚上我自己拿过来就行了。”肖俊说完便头也不回地离开了。
刘扬扬站在原地发呆,同桌说肖老师可能只是忘记自己跟你说过了,他自己拿过来不是给你省事嘛。刘扬扬黑着脸点头说没错,可太省事了。
刘扬扬那晚又交了白卷,他故意将自己的试卷放在最上面,拿去办公室的时候果然看到了肖俊脸上出现了不一样的表情。
他等着肖俊开口训他,但他什么也没等到。
“还有事吗?”肖俊抬头看了一眼刘扬扬。
“我交了白卷。”刘扬扬提醒道。
“我看到了,”肖俊说,“所以呢?”
刘扬扬离开时将办公室的门摔得砰砰响。
他刚才质问肖俊为什么躲着自己,肖俊说师生之间的关系本就应该如此。
刘扬扬离开前还问了肖俊最后一个问题,他说如果我不是学生,老师还会躲着我吗?
肖俊抿着嘴沉默了一会儿,说那就等你毕业那天再说吧。
这句话就像刘扬扬心底的另一根刺,上一根还未完全摘除,疼痛无缘由地加倍。他从没像此刻一样这么急切地盼望着毕业,以前他想时间慢一点,他不想成为父亲的傀儡,可现在他只想肖俊在前方走得更慢一点,他怕自己追上去,肖俊早已经不在原地了。
刘扬扬不再越界,肖俊便收起了防御的姿态。事多的时候肖俊偶尔会忘记布置作业,刘扬扬也不再主动去办公室问他,权当那天他给学生们放假。
肖俊承认他是有些不习惯。追太阳的小孩某一天忽然不再往前了,退去的潮汐也没能让他有半分的犹豫,好像一夜之间太阳就对他不再有吸引力了。
想想也是,有些事情尝到了甜头后人们就会逐渐淡忘在那之前对它的渴望,这是情理之中。
后来班里的英语老师休完产假,肖俊回到了原来的办公室。高考前他再也没在学校里碰到过刘扬扬,就仿佛这个人凭空消失了一样。
肖俊那时候才想明白一件事,就是当初他对刘扬扬说毕业后再说,不是在给刘扬扬一个机会,而是在给自己一条后路,只是这条后路似乎早已经被堵死了。
高考完第二天是高三年级的毕业典礼,说是毕业典礼,不过是学生凑在一起合影留念。家长被邀请前来一同见证这个人生中重要的转折点,他们将鲜花塞进孩子手里,再用相机记录下珍贵的瞬间。
肖俊在办公室看着楼下的场景,不禁感慨这的确是幸福的一天。身后其他老师也跟着附和,说明年就该轮到他们自己的学生毕业了。
自己的学生……肖俊想起刘扬扬,他已经很长一段时间没想起刘扬扬了。也不知道他有没有好好地毕业,也不知道今天有没有人祝贺他毕业快乐。
但愿有吧。
叮咚——
桌上手机响起了微信的提示音,上面是一个好久不见的名字,羊羊。肖俊呼吸一滞,他有些紧张地点开那条消息,下一秒便冲出了办公室。
刘扬扬说,没有人来参加他的毕业典礼。
学校门口的花没剩几枝好看的了,肖俊挑了些还算新鲜的,勉强凑成一束。他抱着花踏进典礼现场,一眼便找到了独自站在角落的刘扬扬。
肖俊有些恍惚,不知道从什么时候起,刘扬扬的个子高了不少,这么远远看过去,已经像个大人了。刘扬扬似乎能感受到什么名为“肖俊”的磁场,他转过身,一眼就撞上肖俊的目光。
“老师!”
刘扬扬朝肖俊飞奔而来。
肖俊的视线在一瞬间变得非常模糊,他想起刘扬扬无数个叫他老师的瞬间,觉得自己是个相对失败的大人。因为他不勇敢,也不坦荡。
“你真的来了!”刘扬扬喘着气说。
“给你,”肖俊将花递到刘扬扬面前,“毕业快乐。”
刘扬扬接过花,然后让肖俊拿出手机给自己拍照,肖俊说他不太会拍,刘扬扬便将手机抢过去,说那我们自拍。他一把揽住肖俊的肩膀,还没等肖俊整理好表情,就转过头亲了下肖俊的右脸。
照片保存成功,刘扬扬喜欢得不得了。
“周围全是人……”肖俊几乎是把头埋在了胸前,“你别得寸进尺。”
“老师,”刘扬扬似乎想起来什么,“我毕业了。”
“我知道。”肖俊说。
“所以你该回答我的问题了,”刘扬扬抓住肖俊的两只手臂,不让他有再次逃走的机会,“肖俊,你还会躲着我吗?”
肖俊愣住了,刘扬扬叫了他的名字。
“我……”肖俊抬起头,“不会了。”
“那可以答应我一件事吗?”刘扬扬兴奋地说,“就当是毕业礼物!”
不等肖俊回答,刘扬扬就拉着他往外跑。
操场旁的小树林深受学生喜爱,现在看来得改成深受学生和老师喜爱了。
那是肖俊和刘扬扬第一次接吻。
刘扬扬问肖俊为什么生日那天只亲自己的脸,肖俊没有回答,却反过来问他今天是不是第一次接吻。
“是又怎样,”刘扬扬嘴硬道,“本来早该亲的。”
“初吻是能随便亲的吗?”肖俊揶揄道。
“初夜都随便给你了,初吻算什么。”刘扬扬小声嘀咕。
肖俊一下噎住,刘扬扬这小子是跟他算计上了啊。
“说吧,”肖俊立刻转移话题,“毕业礼物想要我答应你什么?”
“就……”刘扬扬犹豫道,“你先答应我,我再说。”
“这不是吃霸王餐吗?”肖俊笑骂道。
“对,你就说答不答应吧!”刘扬扬决定将耍赖进行到底。
“答应就答应呗,”肖俊说,“你说,我听听看。”
夏至在两周后才会缓慢抵达,此时的气温是32.6摄氏度。校门口的果汁小贩卖力地吆喝着,鲜榨的橙汁三块钱一杯。
风里似乎有一丝清甜的气息,就像橙子炸开时泵出的汁水不小心溅到了嘴角。
刘扬扬伸出舌头一舔,好甜好甜。
“让我和你一起拍视频吧,OrangeBaby。”
刘扬扬在肖俊耳边轻声说。
Fin.
彩蛋:
诶,听说那个OrangeBaby最近变成了Couple账号。
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