“我想明年退休。”拉维尼奥说着,眯起眼睛把线穿过针眼。伊还不太好弓着背,所以膝盖上放了一个软垫搁手肘,这样可以把针线举得离眼睛很近。这是农神节1假期,奴隶们能放假出门享受自由,祭司们也得以在轮班之余与家人相聚。
“为什么?新的维斯塔女祭司团才成立不到半年,你不能这时候撂挑子。”大祭司懒洋洋地靠在躺椅上,端着一杯葡萄酒。任何不够熟悉他的人都会以为这只是任何一个在节日季微醺的罗马人——无论公民、自由民、奴隶、妇女还是维斯塔贞女。而拉维尼奥恰巧是那几个足够熟悉马提乌斯的人之一,深知他从来受不了葡萄酒的味道,在罗马社会生存至今大概全靠表演葡萄酒会时常造成的那种癫狂懒散状态。
与孪生哥哥不同,拉维尼奥尽量不冒被人看到癫狂懒散的风险。伊抬起头来,预示一种强调:“我明年就三十六岁了。
“真巧,我也是。”孪生哥哥不无嘲讽地回复道。
他们的母亲朱利亚•拉维尼亚生产的那年,大阿格里皮纳被提比略流放,两个年龄较大的儿子被处死,只有小儿子和女儿们幸存。因为沾亲带故,朱利亚•拉维尼亚在恐惧中迎来了难产。“是个男孩!”潘诺尼亚来的接生婆宣布。但是朱利亚•拉维尼亚的疼痛并没有消失,她已经没有力气叫喊了。
“珀斯特沃塔和波利玛啊,卢西亚2啊,是双胞胎!”
盖乌斯·马提乌斯3俯身看着躺在并排的两个摇篮里的孩子们,他们在这个阶段看起来一模一样。朱利亚·拉维尼亚醒过来,气若游丝但语气坚定:“我想要一个女儿。”
“可是大夫和产婆说过,你不能再……”
“我不管他们说什么,这两个中间我要一个女儿。我亲生的女儿。女儿不会被处死最多被流放。我要想法子连流放的命运也让她躲过去。”她一口气说了太多话,又闭上眼睛休息,“你知道,我母亲……”
“别说了,亲爱的。”盖乌斯·马提乌斯握住她的手,“你要什么我们都想法子办。”
“明年我就在维斯塔神庙服役三十年了。”拉维尼奥捏紧缝衣针,“按法律我有权要求退休。”
“别说了,亲爱的——”马提乌斯猛地睁开眼睛,拉维尼奥一阵恶寒,伊哥哥的“亲爱的”后面准没好事。这个习惯绝对是他从那个蛮族女人,独裁官夫人梅洛迪亚4那学来的。大祭司过分甜腻地说:“按法律你会在退休后成为一名受人尊敬的罗马妇女——”
“我看不出来这有什么问题。” 拉维尼奥冷冷地说。
“小妹妹,你有钱又有罗马主妇5典范的好名声,退休以后来提亲的人会踏破我的门槛……”马提乌斯放下酒杯——只有赫尔墨斯知道他之前在装给谁看。
“我没有说我退休是为了找一个丈夫。”
“你还不到五十,除非当维斯塔贞女,否则结婚生儿育女是你的义务。”他揶揄地上下打量拉维尼奥。
“你也不到六十。”拉维尼奥冷静地指出,“你应该再婚的。”
“咳,我的情况比较特殊……”大祭司对一粒杏仁产生了浓厚的兴趣,“我还在哀悼。”
“哀悼。”拉维尼奥嗤之以鼻,“在独裁官夫妇的卧室里吗?”
“我不打算抵赖,但是你该知道有些不体面的话维斯塔贞女不能说。”
“因为你是男人你便做得!而我连穿了什么都要被人盯着。马提乌斯,你知道我不是生来就是女人的。”
“没有人是,缇利亚。”马提乌斯很快地说,拉维尼奥怀疑他又一次装醉过了头。大祭司拍拍手,表示上一个话题分叉到此结束:“总之,一家不能有两个人同时这么晃悠着,否则元老院能把我生吞活剥了……他们梦里的共和国大概还在三百年前。”
“所以我是你的门面?”
“首席贞女,罗马的社稷就靠你们撑着啦。”马提乌斯坐起身来,高举双手,就像他多年前在花园里第一次挖出了蚯蚓一样。
“重要的是,人们愿意相信什么。”拉维尼奥阴阳怪气地说。
“那可以说是咱们家的格言。不然你怎么长这么大的?有你这样的脑子,妈妈应该培养你进元老院而不是维斯塔神庙……”
“没人问过我!我没得选。”
“难道你想要的是:维斯塔首席贞女光荣退休,宣布她竟然是个男人,这名罗马公民将拿着维斯塔贞女丰厚的退休金自由幸福地……”大祭司突然站起来转着圈走来走去,他的套装外袍在空中飞舞,“不,到时候我们俩都得被抄家,我只希望我们能留下足够的钱贿赂行刑人给个痛快……”
“我没有说我想当男人。现在也已经太晚了。”拉维尼奥鄙夷地说,“看看妈妈培养谁进元老院呢,马提乌斯。”
“那就得给你找个丈夫,”马提乌斯毫无必要地搓搓手:“让我们来看看元老院的家谱,说不定能找到一个能让人堪堪忍受的傻瓜倒霉蛋……”
“你明知道我不能结婚。”
“那你退休后的监护人就是兄长在下我了。前景不妙啊。”他咋着舌指指自己,“我对这个男人都厌烦透顶了。”
“你不会觉得这就能换我给你说两句好听话吧?”拉维尼奥做出一副全神贯注给手上的罩衫缝边的样子,“罗马主妇的典范”式的动作伊练习了多年,现在做出来是不自觉的。
“你有什么退休计划吗?”马提乌斯重重地坐下,捻起一颗杏仁抛向空中然后挺身用嘴接住。他看起来那么全神贯注,拉维尼奥简直要怀疑他对自己的退休远没有对杏仁来得关心。
“去看看世界。你不知道我想的吗?”拉维尼奥说。
“噢,我是看过世界了,看看我现在,我不得不统治它。”马提乌斯摊开手,看起来在躺椅上陷得更舒适了。
噢,是的,这是你要我把你牵去的。拉维尼奥想。小阿格里皮纳被尼禄杀死那一年,德鲁苏斯和马提乌斯的军队原本要进城举行凯旋式,却被禁止入城。兵临城下之际,维斯塔贞女一如既往作为中立使者在双方中往来调停,但是在马提乌斯的营帐里,哥哥说:“先是克劳狄乌斯,然后是不列塔尼克斯,接下来是他自己的母亲6,你觉得还有多久会轮到我们?”他小声说,“我还只有三十岁,我不想死,缇利亚……”
德鲁苏斯和马提乌斯穿戴上紫袍和月桂冠。这一次马提乌斯驾着战车,德鲁苏斯骑马。大军开到城下,再次被拦住。马提乌斯向伊伸出手,拉维尼奥抓住他的手跳上战车,包围他们的元老们退去,战车疾驰,拉维尼奥的头巾如战旗一样猎猎飞扬,伊迎风笑起来。7
过去了五年的事情已经像是很久以前。
“马提乌斯,告诉我,我对你还有什么用处?”拉维尼奥直视哥哥。
“你是这样看的吗?”大祭司站起来,躲避伊的目光,或者他只是不想看见自己的脸。
“快三十年了,”拉维尼奥捏住针插,“我料理父亲的丧事,我照顾母亲,我料理母亲的丧事,我看望你可怜的妻子——可怜的米努西亚,她就没见过你几次……”
“这个,我给了她选择。”马提乌斯插嘴道。
拉维尼奥控制自己不去想他在暗示什么,继续说下去:“要我说,她是死于心碎。我料理了她的丧事。我帮你把共和国带回来。我……按你的说法,冒火抢救圣物,让你在元老院有得吹嘘。然后呢?你不觉得我自己受够了吗?”伊的动作大了点,背上新生的组织别扭地牵扯着,像陌生的生物,而那里传来的感觉也如同别人身上的,令人无动于衷。
“我在尽力了,缇利亚。”他突然颓丧地坐到地上,靠着拉维尼奥的膝盖:“他们现在还没有决定谁,或什么,该为火灾负责。但是这才不到半年,整个罗马还是一片泥汤汤的建筑工地,大半人口依然每天排长队在寒风里领取赈济的粮食。人们在忍受,但是他们不一定还能忍多久……”
拉维尼奥没有揭孪生哥哥的短,罗马的政治平衡从来不是世界上最稳当的东西。大火后赈济和重建用的钱迟早要靠另一场战争赚回来。现任独裁官已经多年不去前线,只要御林军决定转头,迟早某个遥远的军团里会冒出一个强人将军一路打回罗马……
马提乌斯继续说:“我不知道……我是说,如果有一天我不再是大祭司了,我希望你还能平安无事。”
“你们本来就还剩五年任期。过十年就换人,不是这样说好的吗?”
他转开头:“我不知道德鲁苏斯在想什么。现在梅洛迪亚在这里,她还能劝住他……”
而有一个当维斯塔贞女的妹妹大概能帮你活得久一点,只要独裁官别再发疯把她奖给谁,像一件珠宝一卷衣料一车橄榄油,拉维尼奥在心里说,但是没打算说出来。伊抚着马提乌斯的头,他好像很久没有真正说过话了:“现在…… 很快他们就会开始要求一个替罪羊来承担触犯神怒的责任,他们会要看一场大戏。超过一百个人在宴会上听到了独裁官奖赏那个士兵一名维斯塔贞女,迟早有人会从酒醉和滥交的尴尬记忆中把这句话挖出来……”他顿了顿,“我只高兴没什么人知道去的贞女是你,缇利亚。”
拉维尼奥颤抖着打结收针,抱起刚缝的罩衫走出房间,在玄关披上斗篷。马提乌斯似乎还沉浸在他的思绪里,一句也没问,但首席贞女欲盖弥彰地喊了一句:“今天我休假,我出门走走。”
1 古罗马的农神节(Saturnalia)是庆祝冬至时令的假期,假期包括现用公历的12月17日—12月23日,其中许多习俗在圣诞节中保存下来。
2 珀斯特沃塔、波利玛、卢西亚均为保佑妇女生育的神。
3 这里盖乌斯·马提乌斯指的是马提乌斯与拉维尼奥的父亲。罗马习俗,头生子往往和父亲用一样的名字。马提乌斯成年以前,大家叫他盖乌斯,成年后(因为他的父亲也已经去世),大家叫他马提乌斯。
3 Melodia, Melody(River Song)的拉丁词。
4 维斯塔贞女被认为是罗马这个国家的主妇。
5 历史传言一向是,小阿格里皮纳带着儿子尼禄嫁给克劳狄乌斯,公元 54 年,克劳狄乌斯被小阿格里皮纳毒死,然后来自克劳狄乌斯前一次婚姻的亲儿子 Britanicus 也被小阿格里皮纳谋杀(是的他的名字是为了纪念克劳狄乌斯对不列颠尼亚的征服)。小阿格里皮纳的儿子尼禄得以上位,在公元 59 年,尼禄谋杀了他自己的母亲。
6 历史上维斯塔贞女跳上战车帮助男性亲属的凯旋军队进入罗马城的事情,发生在公元前143年,当事人是维斯塔贞女克劳迪娅和她的父亲。当时不让他凯旋的理由是元老院有人怀疑这一战没有杀够5000敌人,不符合凯旋标准。Valerius Maximus 的描述(英译)是:
When she observed her father at his triumph being dragged from his chariot by the violent hand of a tribune of the plebs, she held off his excessive power, which had been inflamed by hostility, by interposing herself between the two with marvelous speed. The father thus led one triumph to the Capitol while the daughter led another to the Temple of Vesta, nor could it be determined which of the two should receive more praise, the one who had victory as a companion or the one whom piety (pietas) accompanied.
我把这个故事挪用来颠覆国家政权了,尼禄一直到公元68年才垮台,不是本文设定的公元59年,世界上也没有罗马第二共和国。不要在我们雷文里学历史哈……
评论音轨:因为想讲一些拉维尼奥和马提乌斯过去的事情,也想把握一下双十一的关系,所以加了一点插叙。希望没有插得太生硬。有些别的插叙感觉太长不好拐回来的我都拿开准备单开章节写了。比起之前那版农神节退休申请故事,这一版为了人物塑造减少一些知识性的信息,增加了一点故事性的信息。我磨这章磨了21个月了实在是磨不动了就这样发出来吧……
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