请找我吧，一定找到我。
肖俊发现自己是个替死鬼。
起初他只是觉得那个被自己称作“父亲”的男人似乎倾注了大量的关心在别人身上，这让他有些介怀。后来他才意识到这并非偶然，因为种种蛛丝马迹都将答案指向了那个唯一：
他替了刘扬扬的少爷身份。
肖俊在纸上将所有可能知道这件事的人都一一列了出来，包括那个女人。写下名字时他的手甚至有些颤抖，他回想起无数次和女人的眼神交汇，那其中有怜悯，有无助，有不舍，还有不甘。
做完这些后肖俊动作很轻地将书桌收拾干净，没有留下一丝使用过的痕迹。放在一旁的手机响了两三次，是刘扬扬发来的信息，肖俊没打算立刻回。
【我看好了】
【不过时间有些晚】
【我妈可能不让我出门】
以前肖俊还会调侃两句，说什么刘扬扬你行不行啊都是成年人了还有门禁，现在只觉得这一切都像个笑话。整座港城势力最广的偃月帮的小少爷，午夜想要独自溜出门，当然不可以。就算所有锋利的目光都集中在肖俊一个人身上，刘先生也绝不可能让自己的亲生儿子有哪怕0.01%的被害风险。
肖俊不知道该怎么办，或者说，他不知道应该怎样面对刘扬扬。他拿起手机打下很多字，再一一删除，最后盯着最上方的“对方正在输入…”愣了许久。
【德俊】
【为什么不回消息呢ㅠㅠ】
看电影这种事似乎也不是非要去电影院才能完成，那种仪式感换成窝在家里的沙发上也是可以实现的。肖俊随手扒拉了身旁放满碟片的柜子，按照首字母顺序成功找到了刘扬扬说的那一部。
【我拿了碟片去你家吧】
【太晚的话我俩都会被阿姨骂】
肖俊知道自己出门随时会有人跟着，只是他睁一只眼闭一只眼就能当那些人不存在。他站在原地想了想，那刘扬扬理应也有人一直在暗中保护着才对。
【要不你过来吧】
【我们去地下室的放映室】
肖俊承认自己这么多年来享受过不少刘家的特权，他今晚想明白一个道理，就是与其自怨自艾地担心自己和刘扬扬的未来，不如什么都不要想地在荒谬的结局到来前好好生活。
刘扬扬进门时家里的佣人们都休息了，地下室的放映室他来过很多次，不费什么力气便找到了正在放碟片的肖俊。他直觉肖俊今晚心情不好，撒娇的语气比平时更夸张，他叫肖俊“哥哥”，肖俊有一搭没一搭地回应着。
室内的暖气一向开得很足，肖俊那件最常穿的套头毛衣不知道为何就是舍不得丢。领口已经被洗得变形，他还是只会在众多选项中选择它。
脖子上还是十八岁生日那一年刘扬扬攒钱给他买的项链，吊坠是胶片模样，肖俊说他很喜欢，所以一直戴着。微微前倾的姿势让刘扬扬很容易就能够着肖俊的锁骨，他一只手覆了上去，肖俊让他好好看电影别动手动脚的。
“德俊，哎，哥哥。”
“你今晚干嘛老叫我哥哥？”肖俊将遥控器拿起，转过身扔给已经窝在沙发里的刘扬扬，“前阵子让你叫哥哥还说打死都不叫。”
“没什么，人都是会变的，我也是人。”刘扬扬对着投影仪按了按遥控器，看见画面出现在幕布上才继续开口，“我今晚可以和你一起睡吗？”
“父亲有给你准备单独的房间，”肖俊讲出这个称呼时愣了愣，“这里不是酒店，是我家。”
“我又不做别的事，”刘扬扬那双眼睛在黑暗中显得尤为明亮，“我只是想抱着你睡而已。”
肖俊叹了口气，没有回答刘扬扬，但刘扬扬知道这就是默认的意思。他拿过一旁的毛毯盖在肖俊腿上，又扯了一角盖在自己身上。只是那样坐着的姿势很不舒服，刘扬扬又向外挪了挪，然后头一歪靠在了肖俊的肩膀上。
“你能不能老实点？”
电影开场，刘扬扬的头发蹭得肖俊颈窝痒。
“我不动了，我就想靠着你。”
不知道是不是肖俊的错觉，刘扬扬最近格外黏着他。
“真的是最后一个要求，你牵着我吧。”
肖俊将刘扬扬的手轻轻握住。
波澜壮阔的爱情悲剧，看得肖俊胸闷。他拍拍昏昏欲睡的刘扬扬说上楼去，刘扬扬哼唧着死死抓住他手不放。肖俊只好再跌回沙发，他盖着那床毛毯发呆，听刘扬扬均匀的呼吸声。最后他被刘扬扬叫醒，刘扬扬说哥哥我们回房间吧。
窗外下很大的雨，肖俊说第二天还有父亲的寿宴，刘扬扬撇了撇嘴讲坏天气有不祥的预兆，随后又给了自己一巴掌说呸呸呸。肖俊发笑，什么好的坏的，右眼皮从刘扬扬进门那一刻就跳个不停，他不迷信，但也敬畏神灵。
刘扬扬把肖俊抱在怀里，蹭他的后颈，他痒得受不了，翻了个身让刘扬扬别蹭了，下面被硬硬的东西顶住。
“刘扬扬，别乱发情，狗一样。”肖俊的气息有些不稳。
“哥哥……哥哥，很痛啊，你摸摸。”刘扬扬的嘴唇就快要碰上肖俊的，他想吻肖俊，但肖俊没有给他想要的反应。 “你真的和念念没什么区别。”
念念是刘先生家养的一只狗，喜欢跳到肖俊怀里舔他的手心，刘先生说这是喜欢的表现。
“让我进去吧哥哥，让我进去，我想进去……”
刘扬扬也舔肖俊的手心，肖俊怕痒，一个劲往刘扬扬怀里缩。肖俊想下床去另一间房睡，但无法动弹，刘扬扬一条腿将他扣住，力气大得不像话。
睡衣被撩起来，床头的灯光很暗，但也足以看清刘扬扬趴在自己胸前舔乳尖时望过来的眼神。像一头豹子咬住猎物的喉咙，肖俊觉得窒息，也无处可逃。
一阵酥麻的感觉从胸前传来，肖俊想要制止刘扬扬，却发现无暇顾及。刘扬扬另一只手已经伸向了下方，这会让肖俊顾此失彼，最终功亏一篑。
肖俊不知道刘扬扬什么时候将这些事做得这么熟练了，他只是回想起几年前母亲的葬礼，不对，已经不能再管那位女士叫母亲了，是刘扬扬的母亲才对。
葬礼过后的灵堂空无一人，刘扬扬抓住他的腰发疯似的顶撞，他抬头便能看见那张黑白的照片，女人冲他笑，他只觉得恐怖。刘扬扬是从那时候开始一个劲叫他哥哥的，他说哥哥为什么阿姨死了我却这么难过，他说哥哥为什么我的眼泪止也止不住，他还说……
“哥哥，你为什么在走神？”刘扬扬一把捏住肖俊的下巴，眼神凶狠得像是被抢了猎物。
“呃……”肖俊被狠狠撞了一下，这让他来不及回答刘扬扬的问题。他两只手死死抓住刘扬扬的肩膀，在下一次冲撞来临前他需要找到一个支撑点。
“小声点呀哥哥，被叔叔听见了怎么办？”
刘扬扬一定是故意的，肖俊想。其实他本来也不习惯在做爱的时候发出这样浪荡的声音，有时候刘扬扬会为难他，让他叫出来，叫很大声，他被捅得受不了时会不受控制地听刘扬扬的话。但更多时候肖俊并不会发出多少声音，即使刘扬扬再胡闹。
肖俊知道刘扬扬又在赌气，就因为自己走神。他始终能够在短时间内摸透刘扬扬的真实想法，所以刘扬扬在他面前完成不了什么伪装。刘扬扬的情绪都写在脸上，那些文字只有肖俊一个人能懂。
这是很久都没有过的异常激烈的一场性事，到最后肖俊早已无心去顾虑会不会被刘先生听见。他在一次次高潮中能够回忆起的只有初见刘扬扬时那张稍显稚嫩的脸，和怎么也无法从脑海中抹去的第一张电影票根。
时代电影院，10月30日，《山河故人》。
“下午家里会来客人，德俊你没什么事的话和妈妈一起招待他们哦。”女人的话语里带着笑，她一贯如此温柔。
“嗯，但现在我得回书房写上午剩下的几道作业题。”肖俊将面前餐碟里最后一块曲奇饼放进嘴里，然后将空碟递给了一旁的家政阿姨。
“快去吧，”女人翻了一页手里正在读的书，“好像是你父亲当年手下的儿子，小你一岁，你们应该会相处愉快的，不用太担心。”
肖俊点了点头便上楼进了书房，父亲直到中学才让他迈进校园的大门，他从那时候才有了同学。懂事起到现在十年的时间里肖俊除了父亲手底下那些总穿着黑西服的叔叔，就没见过什么别的人，“朋友”更是从来不敢奢望的存在。
下午要来的客人不知道能不能成为朋友，如果能的话就太好了，肖俊这样想着，手里的作业是一个字也没写。等到楼下传来了门铃的声响，肖俊扔下笔便立刻下了楼，男孩笑起来时嘴角会像两个小钩子一样往上翘，他说他叫刘扬扬，他问可不可以叫肖俊“哥哥”。
“哥哥，可以和你一起玩吗？”刘扬扬嘴里还包着没完全咽下的蛋糕，“妈咪说今天我们可以在外面待久一点。”
“当然可以啊，”肖俊向那个陌生女人看了过去，发现她也在看自己，只是那眼神下一秒就移向了别处，仿佛在躲他，“你喜欢玩什么？要跟我一起去楼上吗？”
“妈咪给我看很多碟片，”刘扬扬伸出手比划了一下，“哥哥家里也有吗？”
肖俊猜刘扬扬说的是那种影碟，他想起地下室似乎有一间被闲置的放映室，便转过头问母亲是否可以带新朋友去地下室。在得到肯定的回答后两人在那里一待就待到了晚饭前，刘扬扬出来时两只眼睛都在发光，他问肖俊能不能经常来这里，这屏幕可比家里的大多了。
“当然可以啊，如果阿姨允许的话，随时欢迎你来。”肖俊也很高兴，这是他第一个真正意义上的朋友。
“哥哥你带我去外面的电影院吧？”刘扬扬说得很小声，“母亲总不让我独自出门，可是我很想去电影院里看电影。”
“我也很想带你去……”肖俊不知道该如何解释，“但我父亲也不让我出门，看来我们连这一点都同病相怜。”
“可是说不定我们一起的话，他们就同意了呢！”刘扬扬有些兴奋，顺势拉住了肖俊的手腕。
“等下一次，如果有什么你喜欢的电影上映，我就带你去怎么样？”肖俊不忍心拒绝刘扬扬，终究还是应下了他的要求。
在别人看来这不过是一个无足轻重的约定，但只有他们知道，第一次从一群保镖眼皮底下溜走是什么样的体验。在确定真的没有人跟在身后时两人的笑声引来周围人的侧目，电影院的这种热闹是从未有过的，肖俊没想过刘扬扬也是如此。
“为什么挑这部电影啊？”肖俊出场后一直向刘扬扬抱怨。
“因为只有这一场还有票啦……”刘扬扬有些愧疚，“明明哥你看得很认真啊！”
“不能浪费了你买票的钱吧，”肖俊说，“虽然结局让人很难过，但电影本身还是很棒的。”
“你说结局她一个人在雪地里跳舞，是想开了还是没想开啊？”刘扬扬盯着手里还没有扔的票根。
“感觉是想开了，”肖俊想了想，又继续说，“早早接受了人生在世一路走一路失去的道理，却仍然热爱生活，她跳着和二十多年前一样的舞，第二天生活还是会继续下去。”
“哥……”刘扬扬拉住肖俊的衣袖，眼神有些埋怨，“干嘛说这么……就不能一个人一直陪着另一个人吗？你不能一直都跟我一起玩吗？”
“什么？”肖俊愣了愣，这才回过神，“你想我一直陪着你吗？”
“为什么不想？”刘扬扬将票根塞进口袋，“我也很孤独啊。”
肖俊一时语塞，他明白刘扬扬的感受。只是他从来没有奢望过可以一直和刘扬扬做朋友，父亲从小就告诉他，所有人的话都不可以全信，没有人会无条件对另一个人好，就连家人也不能。
那时候肖俊还不明白这话的意思，他只能懵懂地点头，说父亲我知道了。直到后来父亲一次又一次地对刘扬扬上心而忽略了自己，肖俊才终于有了一种感觉，一种被无数人从四面八方拉扯的感觉。
“不能的扬扬，”那时候肖俊是这样回答的，“我们不能永远都在一起的。”
再次醒来时肖俊身边早已经没了人影，他拿过手机看了一眼，上面果然有刘扬扬发来的消息，四十分钟前。
【偷偷溜走了】
【没被人发现】
【不过他们看上去都在忙寿宴的事】
【晚点再见，哥哥^^】
真像个傻子，肖俊想。他不是没怀疑过刘扬扬跟着刘先生一起骗自己，只是昨天见到刘扬扬后便打消了这样的念头。虽然不知道这场戏还要演多久，但装作不知道的话总不会有麻烦主动找上门来。
前来敲门的管家问肖俊需不需要开始为寿宴做准备，肖俊直接将门打开，问他自己手里这件袖口绣深绿色蛇纹的西装外套好不好看。
“少爷，很好看的。或许您还需要一对深灰色的袖扣，它们和您的外套很搭。”老管家说罢便从身后变戏法似的拿出一个丝绒小盒子。
“你怎么连这都带在身上了？我可没跟任何人说过我今晚要穿什么呀。”肖俊有些惊喜，他从老管家手中接过那对袖扣，语气轻快。
“我并不知道，”老管家眼里带笑，“是扬扬少爷走之前让我准备的。”
这还叫没被人发现，就差跟屋里所有人说刘扬扬到此一游了。
“他说什么你都信啊，”肖俊打趣道，“不过他这次没骗人，我很喜欢。”
“那当然了，老爷说过，您和扬扬少爷的话，我们都得听的。”老管家说完便离开了。
哈……肖俊心底那根刺又被提起，他低头把玩着那对深灰色的袖扣，仔细观察上面似乎还刻着什么字，太小了，不太能看得清。
下午陆续有宾客到场，刘先生终于将肖俊叫到了自己的卧房，在此之前两人已经很久没说过话了。
“德俊，”背影已不再挺拔的男人站在落地窗边观察着楼下花园里的景象，“你离我近一点，今天这身衣服很适合你。”
“嗯，”肖俊向窗边走近了些，“先祝您生日快乐。”
“我今晚准备宣布一件事，我觉得有必要让你提前知道。”
“您说。”
“我打算将偃月帮交给你。”
“什么？！”肖俊不再冷静，“这太早了，父亲。”
“不早咯，”男人递给肖俊一支烟，“我在你这个年纪，都带着兄弟们闯下港城南边那片地了。”
“可是我……”肖俊不知道该如何反驳，子承父业本该天经地义，但肖俊深知他根本就没有这样的权利。
“还记得我以前教过你什么吗？”男人将手里的红酒一饮而尽，“我说所有人的话都不能全信。”
“记得。”
“就算是最得力的手下，也会有背叛的可能性。同样的，我身为他们最信任的老大，也曾经……骗过他们。”男人这话说得很吃力，就像是在向肖俊忏悔。
肖俊在离开刘先生的卧房后径直去了楼下，他在寻找刘扬扬的身影，他想告诉刘扬扬此刻的担忧。尽管他始终牢记着刘先生的那句教诲，但人总有最容易被击溃的时候，理性在这时候不太管用。
很明显刘扬扬离开的这趟是回去精心打扮了一番，额前梳起的刘海让他看上去更成熟了。和肖俊同一款式不同颜色的西装外套有些引人注目，肖俊将他拉到一旁的角落，小声地质问他为何要跟自己穿得如此相似。
“因为这样他们就会觉得我们很相配，”刘扬扬总有一些歪理，“送你的袖扣喜欢吗？”
“喜欢，”肖俊选择先回答刘扬扬的问题，“但是这太冒险了扬扬，父亲会看出来的。”
“看出来又怎样，看不出来又怎样，叔叔不是很希望我以后可以成为你的左右手吗？”刘扬扬将肖俊逼到墙角，狭小的空间只能听见两人的呼吸声，“被问起来就说我们心有灵犀，反正我们待在一起这么多年，不是挺合理吗？”
肖俊承认他完全无法反驳刘扬扬的话，只是这一切在现在看来都很荒谬，让刘扬扬成为自己的左右手，刘先生在这件事上到底是怎么想的呢？真的打算将所有人都骗过去吗？
“阿咩……”肖俊喊出了那个许久不曾叫过的称呼。
“哎！”刘扬扬反应很激烈，脸一下子变得通红，“你这时候叫我这个干什么呀！”
“我现在有点紧张，”肖俊将前额抵在刘扬扬的肩头，“你会永远站在我这边吗？”
肖俊觉得自己有些可笑，他还记得曾经说过的话，他说他们之间没有“永远”，可现在他又奢望刘扬扬可以回答他“永远”。
“会啊，”刘扬扬几乎没给自己思考的时间，便将这两个字脱口而出，“我当然会啊。”
无人的角落，两个人轻轻碰了碰对方的嘴唇。
刘先生如同他下午告诉肖俊的那样，在寿宴上宣布了将偃月帮交给肖俊的消息。整个会客厅一片哗然，几乎没有人料到会是这样的展开。先不说刘先生此时还宝刀未老，再者，一直以来肖俊以偃月帮少爷身份出席各种场合的次数并不多，也就是说他在道上还没什么名声，这样贸然接下帮派恐怕会引起大范围的混乱。
但刘先生说他意已决。
肖俊此刻站在人群中央，是现场的焦点。他目光落在不远处的刘扬扬身上，对方冲他咧嘴笑了笑，然后做了个“加油”的口型。身边是想要上前攀关系的陌生人，肖俊朝他们礼貌地笑了笑，没有要跟谁客套的想法。
大概是宴会的气氛逐渐浓厚，肖俊接过一旁管家递来的酒便一饮而尽。刘扬扬此时正在与人攀谈，但他的目光从未离开肖俊半分。见人开始给自己灌酒，刘扬扬说了声“抱歉”，然后径直向肖俊走去。
“哥哥，”刘扬扬语气严肃，“干嘛乱喝酒，跟你说过多少回了不是我替你试过的酒都不能喝的。”
“哎，扬扬，”肖俊平时酒量还行，当刚才那一杯下肚太急，有些头晕，“还真把自己当成我的左右手啦？”
“那不是迟早的事吗？”刘扬扬将肖俊碰过的那个杯子拿近闻了闻，发现没什么问题后才放下，“而且母亲经常告诉我，要好好保护你。”
“保护？”肖俊觉得奇怪，他是想过女人知晓这件事，但为何会让刘扬扬保护自己，这一点很难说通。
“她老跟我讲啊，她说以前父亲也是刘先生的左右手，所以我要跟父亲一样。”刘扬扬邀功似的眨眨眼，继续说，“不过有时候她说这种话的频率都要让我怀疑哥哥你才是她亲生的了。”
这话顿时让肖俊后背发凉，他知道刘扬扬只是用一句无心的话来跟自己撒娇，但这对于清楚真相的他来说，无疑是将血淋淋的事实摊开摆在眼前。
他终于知道为什么这些年来女人看她的眼神总是复杂的、猜不透的，如今倒也有了合理的解释。如果事实真的如他所想，那么接下来需要做的就只剩下等待，等待这场荒诞的盛宴落幕。
“母亲～这里！”
刘扬扬忽然在肖俊面前挥了挥手，他顺着刘扬扬的目光看过去，让他百感交集的女人恰好就停在跟前。
“阿姨，您来了。”肖俊冲她点点头。
“德俊，好久不见，没想到再见面都已经是偃月帮的帮主了，真的是长大了。”女人眉眼带笑，但肖俊眼尖地发现她抱在胸前的手在微微颤抖。
“嗯，不过还得靠扬扬帮忙了，我现在也是个新手。”肖俊适度地开着玩笑，气氛总算没有冷下来。
“哎，母亲，你不是说不喜欢吵闹嘛……要不要我陪你去那边走走？”刘扬扬怕女人觉得宴会无聊，特地问道。
“不用了，我在那边休息室待着没事做才过来的。”女人拍了拍刘扬扬的手，示意他不需要考虑那么多。
肖俊难得这么近距离观察她，越看就越觉得自己的眉眼和她有相似之处。他主动与女人攀谈起来，一旁的刘扬扬也加入其中。周围想要跟偃月帮同分一杯羹的家伙们再次跃跃欲试，他们找着机会便向肖俊递话，说港城几大势力的片区划分，还说港城可能即将迎来大洗牌。
这些肖俊都不感兴趣，只是为了顾及偃月帮和父亲的面子，他不得不同每个人说上两句。肖俊想这宴会快些结束，刘扬扬刚才还说想在地下室看一部新的电影。
砰——
这声音出现得太突然，会客厅瞬间漆黑一片，随后是玻璃被砸碎的声音。众人开始慌乱，肖俊被挤到一边，只是下一秒他的手便被死死抓住，他回过头去看，是刘扬扬那张焦急的脸庞。
“哥哥，你和母亲走我前面，他们的目标应该是你！”刘扬扬将肖俊拽到自己跟前，让他和女人先往前走。
身后是紧追不舍的黑衣人，肖俊不知道他们的来历，但他很清楚一点，那就是原来刘先生选择在此时收网，他这颗鱼饵便是时候要被大鱼吃掉了。
在保镖的帮助下刘扬扬好不容易才甩开那群家伙，刚跟上肖俊的步伐，前方又迎来了新的难题，那群人还有支援，他们被包抄了，这是连刘先生都没有预料到的情况。此时人手明显不够，如果折返，那他们将会和在场的保镖一起被收入囊中。
怎么办？肖俊来不及在脑海中将各种可行性全部梳理一遍，他只能凭借直觉让刘扬扬和自己分开跑。只是他下意识让女人和自己一路，这让面前的两人都愣了愣，但他们没有疑惑的时间。几乎是在两人分开的同时，为首的几个黑衣人便迅速冲了上来，等到他们于屋外再次会和时，却不料肖俊平时一直记在心里的那条通往别墅花园外的暗道也被堵住了！
刘先生再怎么料事如神能将此事的发生掌控在自己手中却也不能一五一十地获取对方帮派所有详细的计划。混入寿宴的人数还在不断增加，在场面彻底失去控制前刘先生终于选择了谈条件，只是这条件他说了不算。
很显然对方只需要留一个人作为日后威胁刘先生的砝码，那这个人必然是肖俊。刘先生嘴上答应得好听，差点把对方骗过去。能在这道上混这么久当然不是吃素的，对方忽然收回方才的话，他们要刘先生三日后到南边码头那间属于偃月帮的仓库找人，不去的话就连同在那里静置的货物一起，全部毁掉。
可那间仓库从头到尾没有在任何流转记录显示是属于偃月帮的。
偃月帮里有内鬼，肖俊心里一惊。他有时候会负责一些刘先生无暇顾及的事务，关于内部账本他只在某次上头来查账时浅浅扫过一眼。但那间仓库他记得相当清楚，是用来存放需要过关的走私物品的。名义上那是归上头所有，但实际上早已被刘先生打通关系拿来私用，所以平时一般性检查都不会被特别注意到。
到底是谁？肖俊在脑海中将所有可能性罗列了一遍，最后又将他们一一排除，那都是和刘先生出生入死过的人，他想不出他们背叛的理由。但此时他也没那么多时间再去做更多的猜测了，被关进仓库后他甚至还能看到那些出现在内部账本上的东西，汽车居多，还有一些叫不出名字的机器。
虽然早就知道刘先生做着一些见不得人的交易，但自己却并不能完全脱身。他想这大概就是命，作为替死鬼的作用原来除了真的替刘扬扬去死之外还有替他承受那些不能见光的东西。最后偃月帮靠着刘先生一手建立的贸易公司洗白，刘扬扬便能名正言顺地成为没有任何污点的继承人。
不得不说刘先生这个算盘打得实在高明，但他千算万算没有算到最坚固的堡垒往往是从内部开始瓦解的。至于第一只蛀虫到底是谁，这已经不是肖俊再有机会去知道的事了，此时仓库里暗得出奇，押送他们进来的人早已离开，偌大的空间只能听见三人的呼吸声。
“哥哥！母亲！”刘扬扬的声音从一旁传来。
“没事的扬扬，你再大声点妈妈的耳朵都要聋啦……”女人即便是此刻也还是不紧不慢的语气。
“我已经将安全信号发送给父亲了，不会让你们跟我一起出事的。”肖俊说道。
“刚才咱们不是被搜身了吗？哥哥你把东西藏在哪里的？”
“舌头下面，但愿这东西是真的防水。”肖俊撇撇嘴，将一个迷你的发信器吐了出来，再用脚踢到自己身后。
肖俊和刘扬扬都没有注意到身旁女人略微惊讶的表情，她试着挣脱束缚住她的绳子，发现那并没有什么用后便闭上了眼睛。肖俊问她有没有哪里不舒服，她摇摇头说没事。
三人一夜无眠。
第二天有两个人来给他们送水和食物，其中一个黄毛手里还拿着注射器，针头在透过仓库门照进来的光下闪得刺眼。
刘扬扬在装睡，黄毛一靠近他便立刻睁开眼睛起身把人撞倒在地，但那并不是长久之计，被束缚住的身体根本抵挡不住下一次痛击。黄毛一脚将刘扬扬踢到原来的位置，一只手扼住他的颈部，另一只手将针头缓缓扎入他的身体。
“你给他注射的什么？”肖俊极力控制自己的情绪，但同时他也害怕，因为他知道下一个就轮到自己了。
“别怕，”黄毛嗤笑了一声，“出不了人命的，让你们好好睡一觉而已，装的可不行啊。”
黄毛将刘扬扬丢到一边，也不管他是死是活，转过身便要将女人抓过去。肖俊冲他大吼，说不许碰她，他倒真的听了话似的松了手，一脸玩味地望向肖俊，问为什么。
“反正你们的目标是我，不是吗？”
“那又怎样？”黄毛慢慢走向肖俊，“反正你倒下之后，也不知道我会不会再将这玩意儿注射到她体内，又何必假惺惺在我面前来这一出孝子的戏码？”
“那你可能猜错了，我和她没有任何关系。”肖俊说。
“这样子啊，那我怎么对她其实对你来说不就更无所谓了吗？”黄毛话音刚落，趁肖俊还没回过神，立刻转过身将女人揪起，对着她脖子就是一针，疼得女人叫出了声。
“阿姨——”肖俊试图往女人身边挪，但刚要靠近又被黄毛踹开，他倒在地上挣扎着坐起来，但身体使不上力气。
“德俊啊……你要听……”女人的声音很微弱，话还没说完便歪倒在了地上。
肖俊已经预料到自己接下来的处境，他安静地等黄毛将自己处置，却没想到什么也没等来。他有些惊愕地抬起头看黄毛，见他一脸不屑地盯着自己，然后拿起手机开始拨电话。
“嗯，弄好了，一起？好的我知道。”说完便挂了电话，再次向肖俊看过来。
“所以我要被你们带走？不给我父亲和你们谈条件的机会？”肖俊质问黄毛。
“谈条件？你那个爹一开始就没打算要跟我们谈条件啊！”
肖俊不禁疑惑起来，没打算谈条件是什么意思？但黄毛不给他思考的时间，猛地一下将他从地上拽起来，拖着就往仓库外走。
“你们要带我去哪？”肖俊问。
“到了你就知道了，问那么多干嘛？”黄毛回过头恶狠狠地瞪了一眼。
女人和刘扬扬还在仓库，肖俊不能丢下他们不管，他想他在失去意识前必须要想出救他们出来的办法。
肖俊没有被拖着走太远，他被塞进一辆豪华的轿车，这车他没见过，看上去不像刘先生的。
车里除了司机还有一个不认识的人，那人身材魁梧，坐在副驾驶。肖俊在心里暗自计算了一下逃离的可能性，好吧，几乎为零。他问要去哪，没有人回答。
但直觉告诉他此刻正在去机场的路上，两旁的建筑物有些熟悉。右手搭在左手手腕处是一个相对舒适的姿势，只是肖俊发现原本在那里的袖扣不见了，他沿着衣服上下摸索了一会儿最终还是叹了口气，大概是被那黄毛拖走时掉在了仓库。
目的地的确是机场，只是那位被派来看住他的人几乎在他每一次有想要离开原地的想法时就会非常敏感地挡在面前不让他有机会动弹，他们在一间vip休息室里，不知道在等谁来。
这一等便是两天，两天时间里不断有人进进出出，那些人从不理会肖俊的任何问题，他们进来将东西放下，再如同机器人一般转身离开。
肖俊在脑海中设想过无数种可能，他猜那些人是刘先生派来的，为了给外界打一个幌子，然后再将他接回去继续做那个替死鬼。还有一种可能便是这一切都是那个内鬼安排好的，如果真的是这样，那么目标是谁，肖俊发现自己从一开始就小看这个内鬼了。
这个人存在感极低，以致于肖俊在来这里的路上根本没有想起还有这么个人。这样一想的话一切都能合理解释了，内鬼想要保住肖俊，因为他以为肖俊还能留着用来威胁偃月帮。
但前提是内鬼并不知道肖俊是个假少爷。
咔一声在安静的屋内响起，休息室的门开了。肖俊因为被打断了思考而眉头一紧，他抬起头想问来人为什么刚送过东西现在又来送，只是话语在看见那人时全被堵在了喉咙里。
让他辗转反侧无数次的一张脸，此刻再次出现在了肖俊面前。
“很惊讶吗？”女人的声音无论何时听起来都不紧不慢。
“阿姨……？”肖俊愕然。
“扬扬受了点小伤，不用担心，刘先生不会让他有事的。”女人轻柔地说，“可是你……刘先生正在整个港城范围内搜寻你的下落，我不能让你被找到。”
肖俊感觉到了女人的痛苦，她的声音听起来不再那么平缓，有了一些起伏，他知道那是因为自己，但他不明白女人这样做的原因。
“我们之间，有需要你这样做的理由吗？”肖俊艰难地开口。
女人没有回答肖俊，她让肖俊做了一场梦，梦醒时飞机正落地太平洋彼岸。
刘扬扬从一个完全陌生的环境中醒来，陌生到甚至让他有了已经死去的错觉。
“母亲……哥哥……”他喃喃自语道，可周围没有一个人。
窗外是望不到尽头的大海，房门被轻轻叩响，有人从外面进来，问他是否需要食物和水。
“这是哪？”刘扬扬没有回答那人的问题。
“是刘先生的一处私人住宅。”那人道。
“他们人呢？”刘扬扬没有指名道姓。
“这恐怕您得问老爷……”那人犹豫地说。
“不需要，你出去吧。”刘扬扬烦躁地闭上了眼睛，听见那人将东西放在了一旁的柜子上。
柜子上还放着一部手机，但不是刘扬扬被收走的那部。他拿起来输入了那个烂熟于心的号码，“嘟”声后只听见冰冷的女声从听筒中传来，您拨打的号码是空号。
一股不安的情绪从心底迅速蔓延开来，刘扬扬又播了另一个号码，依旧是空号，仿佛那两个人就这样凭空从他的世界里消失了一般。他一遍遍地尝试，又一遍遍地失望，最后终于麻木地将手机扔到了一旁。
刘先生在他醒来一周后才见他，他看着这张面孔一时觉得无比陌生。不再有之前见面时的那股恰到好处的疏离感，更多的是目光中透出的热切和期盼。
“叔叔，我母亲和德俊哥呢？”刘扬扬没抱什么希望，但他也不放弃任何一丝可能。
“我的人赶到时他们已经不见了，周围也没有他们的踪迹，甚至是尸体也没有。”刘先生的语气冷漠，让刘扬扬非常不适。
“那是您的儿子……”刘扬扬忍不住替肖俊生气，“万一他们躲到了什么地方正在等人去救。”
“我是打算要告诉你这件事的，”刘先生让身后的人将一份资料递给了自己，“虽然你可能不会相信，但我的继承人从头到尾都只有你一个人。偃月帮事发后便不复存在了，不久后我会派人来接你回家，先熟悉一下公司的业务吧，毕竟以后要接手。”
刘扬扬看着面前的几页纸，上面密密麻麻是他从来都不想看的东西，他以前在肖俊的书房里看过，他看不懂，也没兴趣。他让肖俊给他讲那些都是什么，听到一半就能睡着。
“现在告诉我这些是不是有点晚了？”刘扬扬咬咬牙，语气恶劣。
“正常来说也是这时候你就会知道事情的真相，只是过程稍微变曲折了一点。我原本是想救他们两个人的，但他们从来都不相信我，不过也是，是我叫德俊不要相信我的。”刘先生感慨道。
“原本？”刘扬扬皱眉，“这是你的计划？”
“并不，你太年轻了，扬扬，这都是交易，是你情我愿的。”
刘先生说完便取来一个小的密封袋，将它放在了刘扬扬床头的柜子上。
“你死死捏在手里的东西，我看上面还刻着你名字的缩写，就帮你收起来了。不过一个袖扣而已，想要再定制新的就好了。”刘先生漫不经心地说道，随后便带着人离开了。
袖扣？！
刘扬扬差点就忘记自己当时在地上发现了这枚袖扣，那时候他短暂地醒来了一会儿，发现身边没人后只觉得脑袋都快要炸开了。随后他便听见了开门声，在有人进来前他眼尖地发现了身旁正闪着微光的东西，那是他送给肖俊的袖扣。
刘先生说上面刻着他名字的缩写，其实并不。那是刘扬扬亲手刻上去的“y&x”，只是那个“x”被他刻得歪歪扭扭，看上去就像是没写好的“y”。他现在很庆幸自己捡到的是这一枚，如果被发现了其中的秘密，大概就没有机会再拿回来了。
几日后刘扬扬被接回了那栋熟悉的住宅，他和肖俊曾经无数次挤在一起看影片的房子。这里布满了肖俊的痕迹，刘扬扬看上一眼都觉得快要喘不过气。刘先生问他怎么了，他没有回答，问找到人了没。
刘先生沉默了，他缓缓抬起头，表情有些凝重，说没有。
“你说我是继承人，那这么多年肖俊算什么？”刘扬扬捏紧了拳头，母亲总是告诉他，不能相信刘先生的话。
“你知道吧，命运有时候就是很巧，你的母亲，他的母亲，是同姓。”
刘先生不把话说破，但刘扬扬已经明白他的意思。所以他才会在那个女人去世时止不住地流眼泪，因为那原本就是让他来到这个世界上的伟大的人。
“所以肖俊算什么？为什么不敢告诉我？”刘扬扬只是想他亲口说出来。
“扬扬啊，为什么这么执着于一个标准的答案呢？你想从我口中听到什么？一颗棋子还是一个替死鬼？”
“你根本就没有派人去找他们吧？棋子用完之后就会被丢掉。”刘扬扬闷声道，他手里死死攥着那枚袖扣，力气大到快要将其捏碎。
“我确实派人找过了，毕竟他那个母亲，害我丢了一整个码头的货物。本来我没打算这么早解散偃月帮的，这可都是她干的好事。”
刘先生的声音里带着恨，刘扬扬此刻才终于明白，他是想要母亲去死，所以连带着肖俊也……
不能让他先自己一步打听到两人的下落，就算是只剩下尸体，自己也要比他先找到。
“那就当他们是死了吧，不是说要我继承你的事业吗？我可以答应，但有个条件。”刘扬扬说。
“不愧是我儿子，已经开始学会谈条件了，不妨说说看？”刘先生笑道。
“不能对外公布你的继承人是我，我不想被公之于众。”
“为什么？”
“不是不混黑道了吗？一个公司的继承人需要这么大张旗鼓让所有人知道我就是那个天降的草包？”刘扬扬有些激动，声音不自觉地大了些。
刘先生看着他先是愣了一下，随后又发出一声嗤笑，他居然被自己刚认回来的儿子堵得哑口无言，不知道是应该高兴还是生气。
“不错，挺有谈判天赋的，我答应你就是了。”
“那就希望父亲您可以说到做到了。”刘扬扬故意将“父亲”两个字说得很重。
处理那些公司事务对于刘扬扬来说就是另一种折磨，以前肖俊还在的时候他总是在一旁念叨说不要给肖俊当秘书，他看着就头大。那时候肖俊还笑他，说自己可以处理完所有的事情，刘扬扬只需要乖乖在一旁等自己就好了。
还是肖俊还在就好了，刘扬扬总是这样想。
但不得不说刘扬扬很适合管理公司，什么东西他学起来都很快。只是那样他便抽不出时间去寻找肖俊的下落，他一直坚信肖俊不会死，他知道肖俊一定能逃到世界的另一个角落。
新项目的投标会上刘扬扬意外见到了一个熟悉的身影，就算一头黄毛如今已经染回了黑色，他也绝对不会忘记那个曾经在自己面前趾高气昂的男人。
刘扬扬跟随这人一直到了地下车库，就在他马上要打开车门时一下子从旁边扣住了他的手腕，随后立刻将人反压在了门上。
“我操tm的谁啊？！”男人痛得爆粗口。
“不记得我啦？”刘扬扬从背后抵住他让他不得动弹，“当初不是还踹我嘛，给我注射镇静剂的时候也没见你手软。”
“我操……！”黄毛呲牙咧嘴道，“你能不能先放开我啊我不跑！”
“我怎么知道你是不是在骗我？”刘扬扬手上更用力了些。
“别以为我不知道这周围已经全是你的人了，你们偃月帮都解散了还搞黑社会那一套啊！”
“车门打开，进去说。”刘扬扬命令道。
刘扬扬让黄毛坐在副驾驶，他上车后先将车门上了锁，然后一脚踩在钥匙旁让黄毛没法抢走。
“你说你那时候咋没这么多心眼？”黄毛一个劲地说。
“你应该庆幸我人比较善良，”刘扬扬转过头，“我就问你几个问题，回答完就让你走。”
“关于谁？”
“当时被你带走的那个男人。”
“你说吧，反正我现在也不怕被人找到了。”
“你把他带去哪里了？”
“我只把他带到了一辆车上，可能是去机场吧，这是我后来听说的。”
“那那个女人呢？你知道她被带去哪了吗？”
“这我知道啊，就机场呗，我带她去的，不过只送她到了安检口。”
“日期，哪一天。”
“不记得了，反正是那个男人被带走后的第四天。”
刘扬扬在心里大致推算了一下飞机可能起飞的日期，在得到一个答案后便放下了自己的腿，然后按了开锁键。
“行了，你走吧。”他一边开门一边对身后的黄毛说。
“哎，不过我真没想到……算了！这标八九不离十都是你们的了，走了！”黄毛直接在车里换了个位置，启动汽车，驶离了停车场。
回去后刘扬扬派人将那个日期当天所有航班信息全部找了出来，然后他再逐一地进行了筛选，最终将答案锁定在了其中一趟，是飞往美国波士顿的。
但愿能在那里找到什么线索，他想。
三年后。
刘扬扬特意谈了一个跨国的项目，为了让自己有合理的理由飞去美国。刘先生现在对他的信任与日俱增，但他始终没有忘记不能相信这个用生命做交易的男人。
飞机落地波士顿后刘扬扬陷入一种莫名的荒芜，陌生的环境让他有那么一瞬间将“哥哥”两个字含在了嘴边，终究是没有让习惯压制住理性。他捏了捏放在口袋里的那枚袖扣，仿佛只要这样做，就能平复焦躁不安的情绪。
合作方的代表是个相当健谈的人，说完工作后又提起了一些别的话题，好在刘扬扬对他说的那些也算是略知一二，才使两人之间的氛围没有太尴尬。那人似乎也意识到自己说了太多，不好意思地笑了笑，问刘扬扬有没有什么感兴趣的事物。
“感兴趣……我现在的生活大概除了工作还是工作，”刘扬扬开玩笑地说道，“不过我很喜欢研究电影，尤其是以前的一些老电影。”
“还好不是我不熟悉的领域……如果你喜欢老电影的话，我很推荐一个地方给你哦！”
“好啊，工作结束后我会去那里看看再走的，是什么地方？”
“我找一下，是我darling前段时间告诉我的，她很爱去那里啦……”男人翻看着手机里的记录，“找到了！是一间专门卖影碟的店，里面环境很好哦，离你住的酒店不远。”
“好，我去了之后会给你反馈的。”刘扬扬记下了那个地址，然后冲对方笑了笑。
一场愉快的饭局将签合同的日子提前了两天，刘扬扬还是有些紧张，他在出门前特意给自己戴上了那枚深灰色的袖扣，仿佛肖俊在给自己打气。他低着头轻轻叫了一声“哥哥”，然后出门和助理碰了面。
签合同的过程相当顺利，结束后刘扬扬忍不住伸出一只手摸了摸左边的袖扣，眼尖的合作人只扫了一眼便发出了惊讶的感叹。
“Yang，你这枚袖扣真别致！是不是还有另一枚在别处？”
刘扬扬呆在了原地，他有些不可思议地朝合作人望过去，随后都没有意识到自己发出了声音。
“你怎么知道的？”
“我不是告诉你我darling她非常喜欢那间卖影碟的店吗，她有一次跟我说老板手里攥着一枚袖扣，她一开始以为那是宝石，还凑上前去问老板能不能给她看看。”
“她看了吗……？”刘扬扬的声音都在颤抖。
“看了，然后发现那其实并不是一颗宝石。因为她从事设计工作，所以还拜托老板让她拍了照片，我看过那张照片，那枚袖扣和你这枚一模一样。”
刘扬扬向他道了谢便离开了，他让助理先回了酒店，然后自己径直去了那间合作方所说的店铺。
那间名叫“Time”的小店就在刘扬扬眼前，门口贴着复古的海报，还有一块亮着霓虹灯的广告牌，像极了以前港城南边的那一片错落有致的老房子。
推开门时还有“吱吖”的声响，扑面而来的熟悉感让刘扬扬悬在半空中的心脏往回落了一些。此时店里没什么人，就连收银台后也不见老板的踪影。刘扬扬顺着一排排放碟片的架子看过去，上面摆满了那些他曾经和肖俊一起看过的老电影，记忆如同潮水一般向他袭来，知道身后传来的男声将他的思绪打断。
“欢迎光临，架子上都是可以直接购买的，如果想要架子上没有的，可以单独跟我说。”
这是刘扬扬日思夜想的声音，他有些害怕转过身，他还没有选好合适的表情，他还不知道要怎么打招呼，他还不确定……不确定肖俊是否挂念着他。
“这位顾客？”肖俊再次开口。
刘扬扬终于转过了身，他和肖俊四目相对。
“扬……扬扬？”
炽热的拥抱在下一秒抵达，鼻腔里灌进熟悉的味道，好像很多年前肖俊就已经习惯凑到刘扬扬身边闻他身上的香味。
仿佛害怕怀里的人会再次消失一般，刘扬扬的手臂不自觉地收紧，直到肖俊发出一声闷哼，说自己快要不能呼吸了。
刘扬扬猛然回过神，有些慌张地松了松手臂，但依旧没有将肖俊放开。
“抱歉哥哥……”刘扬扬委屈地说。
“为什么明明难受的是我，怎么你看上去才像是那个被欺负的人啊。”肖俊笑着说。
“哥哥，哥哥……”刘扬扬将下巴放在肖俊的肩上，“我好想你。”
肖俊有些鼻酸，但还是没有在刘扬扬面前哭，他总是这样，习惯了装得像个没事的人。逐渐泛红的眼眶有些干涩，盯着头顶那盏白炽灯看了许久，眼泪终于在下一次眨眼时如同落下的春雨那般，掉个不停。
“我也想你。”
刘扬扬想要跟肖俊回家，肖俊没说什么，算是默认了。家里的布局和刘扬扬想象中有些不太一样，以前肖俊总爱在房间里摆上很多乱七八糟的杂物，他说那样会让家里看起来更温馨一点，而现在眼前这个家，很冷清，一点也不热闹。
肖俊似乎也发现了这一点，有些犹豫地问要不要去一趟超市，还没等刘扬扬回答，便转过身想要重新拿起刚摘下的围巾。天气预报说今晚会有大雪，可家里好像没备什么食物。
见身后没什么动静，肖俊有些奇怪地回头看了看，刘扬扬还站在原地不动。
“扬扬？”肖俊轻声叫了他的名字
刘扬扬没吭声，他只是朝肖俊的方向走来，然后站定，将刚戴上去的围巾又摘了下来。
“喂……外面很冷的，”肖俊的语气有些无奈，“我们去买点吃的回来好不好？”
“不好，”刘扬扬将围巾身旁的沙发上一扔，“我们可以点外卖，哥哥，我现在只想吻你，吻到你说不出话，吻到你双腿变软，吻到你……求我操你。”
肖俊下意识往后退了一步，刘扬扬抓住他的手腕又将他拉回到自己怀里，然后不由分说地吻上了他的唇。时隔三年的吻比以往的任何一次都要更热烈，刘扬扬死死扣住肖俊的手臂，仿佛下一秒就要捏碎他。
暖气终于让屋内开始升温，刘扬扬看见肖俊额头浮起的一层薄汗，正在慢慢浸湿一旁的碎发。肖俊的双手使不上力气，就连双脚都被刘扬扬搂得有些微微踮起，全身上下找不出一个能够支撑的点。
直到肖俊开始把刘扬扬往外推，他才有些使坏地离开肖俊的嘴唇。刘扬扬看着自己面前这个他日思夜想的人，不等他完全回过神，便再次欺身将他压在了沙发上。而肖俊此时也渐渐被周围暧昧的气氛所影响，主动抬起头去够刘扬扬的嘴唇。
“哥哥，”刘扬扬亲了亲肖俊，然后伸出一只手向下探去，“你有反应了诶……”
“别这么多废话……”肖俊脸红得发烫，不知道是暖气还是别的什么原因，“你以前可没这么啰嗦。”
外套和毛衣被刘扬扬脱掉后肖俊不自觉地哆嗦了一下，虽然室内的温度已经升高不少，但依旧能感受到一丝寒意。刘扬扬一颗一颗解开肖俊衬衣的扣子，低头去舔他的锁骨，肖俊怕痒的毛病这几年好像越来越严重，一个劲地往后躲，可他早已无处可躲。
大概是没想到肖俊的反应这么大，刘扬扬停下了动作，有些委屈地抬头望着肖俊，那眼神让肖俊觉得刘扬扬此时就像一只被雨淋湿的小狗，在求着肖俊带他回家。
肖俊下意识地吞咽了一下，然后豁出去似的把头转向了一边，说：“继续吧……”
如果刘扬扬有尾巴，那现在一定摇个不停。
轻柔的吻从锁骨一直蔓延到肖俊身体的每一个角落，裤子不知道什么时候已经被丢到了一旁，刘扬扬趴在肖俊的腿间再次抬头，说哥哥我想进去了。
没等肖俊点头，刘扬扬便直接插进去一根手指，熟悉的温热感立刻包裹了上来，让刘扬扬没忍住又放进一根手指。
“唔，”肖俊用一只手挡住自己的眼睛，“你慢点啊……”
“不是哥哥你刚才嫌我啰嗦的吗……”刘扬扬抱怨道。
肖俊已经无心在回应刘扬扬，因为他感觉到自己身下已经被搅成了一摊泥泞，淫靡的水声在空荡荡的客厅里显得尤为刺耳，这让肖俊有些不愿意回忆自己当初是怎么和刘扬扬做爱的。不过他也不需要记起来，因为无论过去多久，刘扬扬都能精准地找到他的敏感点，然后只用手指就让他达到高潮。
手指忽然都退了出去，肖俊有那么一瞬间失了神，他猛然转过头和刘扬扬对视，果不其然看见了一脸的坏笑。
“怎么啦哥哥？”刘扬扬将刚才伺候肖俊的那只手伸到他面前，“好湿啊……本来我都想直接放进去了，可是哥哥你刚才的表情太可爱了……”
肖俊死死抿住嘴唇，他瞪着刘扬扬不说话，下面空无一物的感觉让他的心情非常糟糕。
“哥哥你别生气……”刘扬扬在肖俊耳边低声说道，“你求我好不好，哥哥，你求我吧……”
肖俊还是不说话，他此时又难受又觉得丢脸，难受是因为刘扬扬不再继续做下去，丢脸是因为唾弃自己满脑子只有这些淫秽的事情。可是……肖俊觉得自己就快要炸开，人类的欲望得不到满足就会陷入莫名的焦躁中，他伸出一只手搂住刘扬扬的脖子，然后一口咬住了刘扬扬的嘴唇。
“嘶——”刘扬扬没料到肖俊会这么生气，“很痛哎哥哥！”
“扬扬……”肖俊喘着粗气，“快点进去……”
刘扬扬依旧没有听肖俊的话，他哑着嗓子任性道：“可是哥哥你都不求我，求我一下好不好，我真的很想听……” “求你了……”肖俊终于选择投降，他在刘扬扬面前总是先认输的那一个，“求你放进去，阿咩。”
“砰”的一下，刘扬扬只觉得有一束烟花在自己脑子里炸开了。
任性的要求再也说不出口，刘扬扬死死抱住肖俊不让他有任何反悔的机会，房间里响起“叮”的一声，暖气的温度已经升到了最高，屋内的旖旎全部化作指尖触碰时的缱绻。
两人赶在大雪前点好了外卖，肖俊趴在沙发上找前几日客人要的影碟，刘扬扬端来一杯热水递给他，他没有抬头，说放在茶几上就好。
刘扬扬撇撇嘴站在原地不动，发现肖俊没有再搭理自己的意思，便一把抽走了他手里的iPad。
“干什么呢？”肖俊这才转过头问道。
“哥哥，”刘扬扬一脸严肃，“为什么现在还在忙工作的事，还是别人的事。”
“你先把iPad给我，”肖俊无奈地伸出一只手，“我不看了好吧？”
“唔，”刘扬扬哼哼唧唧半天终于将iPad还给肖俊，“想和哥哥一起看电影。”
“嗯，想看什么？这台投影仪都好久没用过了，我自己一个人都不怎么看电影。”
一个人？刘扬扬终于捕捉到话中的关键词，他在肖俊身旁坐下，然后帮他揉了揉腰，问道：“母……母亲呢？”
肖俊沉默了一会儿才开口：“去世了，去年冬天，很严重的病。”
刘扬扬想问的话全被堵在了嘴边，最后只能干瘪地问：“她恨我吗？”
肖俊没想过刘扬扬会这么问，他起身去了一趟书房，回来时手里拿着一本相簿。
“她没有亲口告诉过我关于你的事，”肖俊将相簿递给刘扬扬，“但她忘了这里面还夹着她写的小纸条。”
相簿第一页写着“扬扬成长日记”几个字，刘扬扬每往后翻一页都能看见女人在上面细心写下的备注，例如拍摄照片的日期，以及照片里的刘扬扬当时在做什么。那张被遗忘的纸条夹在了最后两页中间，上面只有短短两句话，“今日成年，生日快乐”和“希望你幸福”。
照片到刘扬扬成年那一天后便不再有新的了，女人尽职尽责守护了他最宝贵的十八年。刘扬扬想她大概还是恨自己的吧，只是这种恨终究敌不过朝夕相处的爱。这一刻他更加清楚自己到底夺走了肖俊多少东西，他有些心虚地握住了肖俊的手，然后关上了相簿。
“怎么了？”肖俊捏了捏刘扬扬的手指，“手怎么忽然这么凉？”
“哥哥……”刘扬扬转过头将脑袋埋进肖俊的颈窝，一个劲蹭，“我会对你好的……”
“噗……说什么啊在？我不记得我们之间需要这种煽情的氛围。”肖俊笑道。
“我很爱你啊，很爱你，你别讨厌我……”刘扬扬继续低声地自语。
“嗯，我不讨厌你，但我现在有个问题得问你。”肖俊拍了拍刘扬扬的手臂。
“你问吧，我不会答应你把我赶走的。”
“谁问你这个啊，你什么时候回国？我的客人都跟我说了，你是来谈合作的吧？”
“怎么出卖我啊这个该死的美国佬！”刘扬扬一下坐直了身子，不敢直视肖俊的眼睛。
“所以？”肖俊又将问题重新抛给刘扬扬。
“后、后天……”刘扬扬被肖俊看得紧张，“哥哥你要不要……”
“不要，”肖俊知道刘扬扬想问自己什么，“我不跟你一起回去。”
虽然知道会是这样的答案但刘扬扬还是有些失落，他赌气似的甩开肖俊的手，抿着嘴唇不说话。
“生气了？”
“为什么啊，为什么不跟我回去？”
“还没到回去的时候，”肖俊又重新握住刘扬扬的手，“不会连这点时间都不愿意等我吧，那我可要伤心了……”
“什么呀，”刘扬扬立刻解释道，“当然愿意等了……”
“不会太久的，还有些事没处理完，明天要跟我一起去看看母亲吗？”
“可以吗？”
“为什么不行，她应该也盼着你去呢。”
两人第二天没有在墓园多做停留，刘扬扬在肖俊身旁对着墓碑上的照片又叫了一声“母亲”，然后摘下手套将台阶上的雪扫到一旁，最后放上了那束一早去花市买的白色雏菊。
“呼……冷死啦。”做完这些后刘扬扬忍不住抱怨道。
“谁让你把手套摘了的？”肖俊捂住刘扬扬冻得通红的手，“再逞强就冻伤了，是不是傻子啊？”
刘扬扬没说他是故意让肖俊心疼自己的，他乖乖地闭上嘴看肖俊皱着眉头教训自己，心里止不住地泛起一丝愉悦。
前一晚没看成的爱情电影终于被刘扬扬翻箱倒柜找了出来，他从卧室里拿出一条毛毯，将肖俊露在外面的脚盖住。肖俊往沙发里缩了缩，把毛毯一角搭在了刘扬扬腿上，然后往身旁一倒，靠在了刘扬扬的肩上。
“哎……”刘扬扬一下紧张起来，“哥哥困了吗？”
“没有，我只是想起来你以前老是这样做，所以想试试看，也没那么舒服嘛……”肖俊小声道。
“那是因为……”刘扬扬早已不记得眼前的画面在讲述一个怎样的故事，他微微偏过头就能闻到肖俊头发上淡淡的洗发水味道。
“因为什么？”肖俊微微闭上了眼睛，这暖气开得实在太热。
“因为想要引起哥哥的注意……”
“这样啊，”肖俊迷迷糊糊地回答着，“我让你没有安全感吗？”
“不是，只是我想要的更多。哥哥你永远都是大家眼中的焦点，我希望你不要看别人，你只看我好不好……”
耳畔传来一阵均匀的呼吸声，肖俊不合时宜地睡着了。刘扬扬在心里叹了口气，也不知道刚才那番话肖俊到底有没有听进去。荧幕里还在上演一段生离死别的爱情故事，男人说爱情就是这样，一边拥有一边失去。
但刘扬扬此时可以确定一点，那就是这一次抓住肖俊后，他不会再让自己失去了。电影里的桥段总是不能涵盖现实中人的一生，刘扬扬在电影结束前关掉了投影仪，屋内的暖黄色的夜灯恰好照亮了回卧室的路。
刘扬扬没让肖俊送他去机场，他说在肖俊处理完那些事之前会经常来美国，肖俊笑着骂他甩手掌柜，却没有说出拒绝的话。
那位跨国的合作伙伴在项目结束后选择了与刘扬扬达成长期的合作协议，说是朋友关系大概更准确一些。这位朋友和他的爱人总是在闲暇时约肖俊出门见面，在知道了两人的关系后更是将每一次见面时的合照通过聊天软件发给远在大洋彼岸的刘扬扬。
每当这时候刘扬扬都会在和肖俊的视频通话中表达自己的不满，肖俊说他小心眼，他说凭什么别人都能见你，我却见不到你。
一听到这种话肖俊就会心软，他告诉刘扬扬自己很快就能回国了，他让刘扬扬再等等。
刘扬扬一直没有过问过肖俊要处理的到底是什么事，他知道肖俊不会说，而且他隐隐约约有猜到这些事和刘先生有关。他到现在都不愿意叫那个男人“父亲”，那种感情很复杂，不完全是恨。
刘扬扬知道刘先生被拘留时其实并不太惊讶，不能说他料到迟早会有这一天，而是他好像猜到是谁促成了这一切。涉黑加上走私够刘先生在监狱里过完剩下的日子了，刘扬扬后来去监狱探望过一次他，他问是不是刘扬扬做的，刘扬扬说不是。
刘先生说没想到自己叱咤风云这么些年，终究还是得了报应。他在刘扬扬离开前问了最后一个问题，他问肖俊是不是还活着。
刘扬扬一句话没说便直接离开了。
肖俊说他下个月就回港城，刘扬扬为此专门找人给自己定做了一套新的衣服，他说要在机场给肖俊一个大惊喜。肖俊当然没那么傻，他告诉了刘扬扬那趟错误的航班号，然后提前整整一周悄悄回了国。
刘扬扬那一天早晨到办公室时发现桌上有一个没有署名的信封，他顺手拿起就打算往一旁的垃圾桶里扔，里面的东西掉了出来，滑落到地上。
他捡起来看了一眼，手中的动作忽然停了下来，随后他立刻拨通了通讯录最上方的号码，“嘟”了一声后对方便接起了电话。
“早上好，收到我的惊喜了吗？”肖俊笑着说。
“哥哥！”刘扬扬又惊喜又生气，他气肖俊居然骗自己，“干嘛骗我呀！”
“我可不愿意被全机场的人围观啊……电影在下午，要提前跟我见面吗？”
“真是的，把地址……”刘扬扬的声音忽然中断。
“什么？”肖俊问。
“没什么……”刘扬扬的声音有些奇怪。
“扬扬你怎么了？”
“我先挂了！”
刘扬扬手里捏着那张电影票，上面的字越看越模糊，眼泪“啪嗒”一声落在上面，浸湿了周围的一小片。
时代电影院，10月30日，《山河故人》重映。
刘扬扬花十年的时间绕了一个圈，终于又将肖俊找到。
彩蛋：
公司对外公布的法人一直都不是刘扬扬而是刘先生，肖俊回到港城后极其不情愿地去了一趟公司，进刘扬扬办公室不到两小时，出来时已经有了新的名号：肖总。
事情比想象中要简单很多，刘扬扬一直以来对自己抢了肖俊很多东西而感到抱歉，虽说现在一家人不说两家话，但刘扬扬总觉得不该自己拿的还是不拿为好。
“扬扬……你有没有想过其实我也不太想要这份工作？”肖俊手里拿着一张名片，那是国内一位有名的制片人。
“唔，哥哥你从哪里弄来的钱先生的名片？”刘扬扬眼尖，一眼就看到了名片上的名字。
“跟他谈个合作，之前忘记他的号码了……”
“哎？等等！”刘扬扬双手抓住肖俊的手臂，“你们认识？！”
“在美国的时候有一些来往，我听说他也刚回国没多久。”
刘扬扬还处于震惊的状态，他张了张嘴，欲言又止。
“想问我什么就问吧，瞧你那样……”肖俊笑道。
“你跟他谈的什么合作？”刘扬扬有些紧张地问道。
“你不是已经猜到了吗？干嘛还非要我再告诉你一遍？”
“……哥哥！你就别逗我了，真的要把我的剧本拿给他看吗？”刘扬扬激动得就快要把肖俊抱起来。
“你先松手……勒死我了呀。”
刘扬扬立刻从书房里拿出自己的电脑放到肖俊面前，他一直以为肖俊平时在公司忙里忙外都不怎么关心自己，哪知道已经准备帮自己发表剧本了。
“刚才已经在电话里说过一些了，不过细节的东西还是要见面在谈，已经先替你答应下来了，所以要反悔吗？”
“反悔的是小猪！”刘扬扬跨坐到肖俊身上，双手抵在他两侧。
“你喜欢的东西，都去实现好不好？”肖俊笑着说。
答案被淹没在细软又绵密的吻里，刘扬扬当然会说“好”。
《小海》在国内首映是三年后的8月8日，刘扬扬的第一部电影，远在波士顿那间被接手的小店门口也贴上了一张海报。
刘扬扬在首映会上说这是哥哥送的礼物。
而此时肖俊正坐在台下冲他笑。
end.
by：遇白
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